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Thursday, October 18

Proof of Innocence

Lawyer: "To prove my client's innocence, I would like to present my client's internet search history from that evening."
Accused: "My Lord, I would rather confess to the murder"

Thursday, October 11

You having Bad Day at Work! Read on...

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Read his letter below...

Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.

This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my ass was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!! 
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
  😂😂

Thursday, October 4

THE first Motorcycle Rider!

Old testament says about Roar of Moses 'triumph'
;-)

Thursday, September 27

Funny Office Sticky Notes

Purple marker missing!
Please return it ASAP


NO!!


Sunday, September 23

Wisest Men's Nonsense

A little nonsense
Here and there 
Is Cherished by the Wise Men

Wednesday, September 12

Hardships in love!

Beware of tight Jeans fashion! Adhere to proper dress code.. ;-)

Thursday, September 6

European Holiday Washroom Reality

During holidays in europe , whom did he miss more, girlfriend or the hand  Faucet !?

Monday, August 27

Rest your Mobile phones

Give your cell some rest....why? 

A Guy gets out of lift on 7th floor instead of 9th floor.

He says - I was so busy checking messages on my whatsapp...without realising, I went into the neighbour's house and sat on their sofa.  

The  lady of the house was glued to the TV... watching serials...She gave me tea without looking at me. 

When I started drinking Tea, I looked up and saw the lady's husband entering the house....looking into his mobile.  

He saw me and said, "sorry" and went out of the house !!!

😂😂😂😂😂

Tuesday, August 21

Wednesday, August 1

Educated Father's Savage Response

This is savage! 

My dad used to put his thumb impression on my mark sheet.

I asked him: Being a Chartered Accountant, why are you putting your thumb impression, instead of signing on my progress card?

My dad replied: Idiot, after looking at your marks, the teacher should not think that I am educated....
😂😂

Dirty Kids teach you..

That at the end of day ...Be happy

Lounge Menu Question

Should we drink tonite? ;-)

Tuesday, July 31

Sky high Lady

Beautiful lady inside airplane asked the man for help to remove his eyes off her breasts!

Sky high classroom!

My Engagement Photo

Now that's how you take Engagement pictures!

Monday, July 23

Satisfying Billboard

Satisfaction guarranteed ! 
Oh yes, every morning at the signal.

Hallelujah

They know that it's all water after all.

Urdu quote

A great poet once said.... 

Tuesday, June 19

Father's caring Son

5 year old son.....after reading story of a king.....

Son:......Mom, I also want 3 wives.....one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me.......

Mom:....And which one will put you to sleep

Son:..No mom, i will still sleep with you....Mom's eyes filled up with tears ... God bless you son

Mom:...but who will sleep with your  3 wives

Son:....Let them sleep with daddy...

Daddy's eyes filled up with tears... God bless you son ! 😂😆

*Happy Father's Day!*

Saturday, June 16

First game Closing ceremony of Football World Cup 2018

Saudi Arabia player after the world cup match against Russia... ;-)

Wednesday, May 30

Age is just a number...Oldies dance n health

Senior shows his dancing skills and fitness and zest for life at his age

Saturday, May 19

Positive Attitude n Thinking in Difficult Times

Doctor : Your Liver is enlarged.
Patient : Does that mean it has space for more whisky ?
(This is called "Positive Thinking" 😄😄)

Lady to her dietician : What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.
Doc : How come???
Lady : According to my weight, my height should be 7.8 feet... 😜
(Now this is called "Positive Attitude" 👍)

A Man wrote to the bank, "My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank".
(This is self confidence in its peak 😂😂)

This one is classic !!
A cockroach's last words to a man who wanted to kill it : "Go ahead and kill me, you coward. You're just jealous because I can scare your wife and you cannot..!!!!" 😅😅😅

Always be positive even in difficult situations

Monday, May 14

Suffering from Alzheimer’s?

Suffering from Alzheimer's (memory loss) ? 👇🏻

Thursday, May 10

Anti-theft Beer Bag

Skin colored belly beer strapon travel body bag to hide or carry

Self-declaration Cap - Pervert

Name Caps with Adjectives,
people tell more about themselves in single words on their head

Saturday, April 21

Product Advertisement Placement

Durex does it again

How many human politicians?

Quote:

Politicians are like sperm.
One in a million turns out to be a human being.

Hilarious Advertisement Billboard Placements

Funny but uniquely good placement of Male pill advertising billboard on a bus!

Like a Benz

Beauty has its price!

Tuesday, March 27

Blonde Girl Hugs on Road

This guy surprised and happy to see a beautiful girl coming towards him with open arms for a hug!

Himalayan Funny Road Signs

Funny Road Signs on trip to the Himalayas mountain ranges

Saturday, February 17

Thursday, February 15

Earlier Death, Work, War but Offended Nowadys

Abuse on mobile social world is the biggest tragedies these days !!

Wednesday, February 14

Level of Unbortherness

Aim of life is to reach back to this level of unbotherdness

Tags: child,childhood,cute,life,aim,funny picture

Level of Unbortherness

Aim of life is to reach back to this level of unbotherdness

Tags: child,childhood,cute,life,aim,funny picture

Curious Ape (sfw)

Whats here? Girl has to be aware of a monkey.

Sunday, February 11

Wife's distrust Enigma!

When your wife asks about your shirt!

Salary, Tax and Savings

Pictorial comparison of salary tax n savings

Why some people were born?

When you look at some people and think that.... how on womb did they win the birth race!

Jungle Beats Drummer

Old drummer's amazing instruments setup and the music video

Friday, February 9

Angry Bird

The angry Bird scolding the Owner, in his language, for destroying its Cage !

Alphabetical Hairstyles

Hairstyle of alphabets