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Friday, December 7

The Whistler

A Professor started his class on a very serious Topic. The moment he turned towards the blackboard, one of the students whistled. He turned, looked at the class and asked the Whistler's name. No one answered.

The Professor peacefully kept the chalk on the table saying: "Lecture ends here. I'll tell you a story to utilise the remaining time".

Everyone became interested.

"Yesterday night I tried hard to sleep, but it was miles away from my eyes, so I thought I'd better get petrol in my car, which will save my time next morning and might induce sleep. After having my tank full, I started roaming in that area, enjoying the peace of a traffic free ride. 

Suddenly, on the corner I saw a girl who was as young and beautiful as the clothes she was wearing. Must have been returning from a party. Out of courtesy, I turned my car towards her and asked if I may be of any help. She asked me if I could drop her to her home, she'll be very obliged, to which I agreed.

She sat in the front seat with me. We started talking, and to my amazement she was very intelligent, had control on many topics which many youngsters don't. 

When we reached her address, she admitted my courteous nature and behavior and accepted that she had fallen in love with me. 

I also admitted her intelligence and beauty and that I've also started liking her. I told her about my job as a professor in the university.

The girl asked my number, which I gave her willingly. Then she asked me a favor, to which i couldn't have denied naturally.

She said that her brother is a student in the same university, and asked me to take care of him, since we'll be in a long relationship now.

I asked the name of the student. She said that I'll recognise him with one of his very prominent quality, *He whistles a lot!*

All eyes in the classroom turned towards the boy who had whistled.

The professor said:  "I didn't buy my Ph. D in Psychology.. I earned it"😉

Monday, December 3

Russian Connection!

Talk about ties with Russians under oath!

Thursday, November 29

Deadly Combination

Good sense of humour, 
Dirty mind 
And 
A beautiful heart!

Wednesday, November 28

Killer Instinct

When your woman pulls out a knife during an arguement,
Place a bread and butter

Monday, November 19

Pitstop

Brake Warning!

Wife Rocks Good Old Times of Husband!!

HUSBAND in a good mood.... 

"Darling, remember 25 years ago I had a rented one room apartment, a table fan, a black&white television and a bicycle to use. But, at night I used to sleep besides a 25 year old beautiful girl. 
Now I own a luxurious centrally air conditioned penthouse, 4 LED big screen televisions and a limousine but 
I sleep with a 50 year old woman..."

WIFE: "Do not worry darling. Just find yourself a 25 year old beautiful woman and I will make sure that you go back to a rented one room apartment, 
a table fan, a black and white television and a bicycle in no time....!!"

😜😝😜

Women always rock !!!👍👍👍

Saturday, November 17

Monday, November 12

Friends' Warning

Warning to all those friends who don't drink or smoke .....

Saturday, November 3

Wednesday, October 24

The Perfect ;-) Cabbie Guy - Brian Sullivan

This one is toooooo good. ..
😂😂😂

A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian"  
Passenger: "Who?"  

Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian every single time."  

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."  

Cabbie: "Not Brian. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."  

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."  

Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse and the whole street blacks out. But Brian, he could do everything right."  

Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."  

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."  

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"  

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his bloody widow."

😂😂😂

Did I read that sign right?

*Did I read that sign right?*

In an office:
*TOILET OUT OF ORDER...... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW*

In a Laundromat:
*AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT*

In a London department store:
*BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS*

In an office:
*WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN*

In an office:
*AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD*

Outside a secondhand shop:
*WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?*

Notice in health food shop window:
*CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS*

Spotted in a safari park:
*ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR*

Seen during a conference:
*FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR*

Notice in a farmer's field:
*THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES*.

On a repair shop door:
*WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)*

😄😄😄

Thursday, October 18

Proof of Innocence

Lawyer: "To prove my client's innocence, I would like to present my client's internet search history from that evening."
Accused: "My Lord, I would rather confess to the murder"

Thursday, October 11

You having Bad Day at Work! Read on...

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Read his letter below...

Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.

This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my ass was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!! 
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
  😂😂

Thursday, October 4

THE first Motorcycle Rider!

Old testament says about Roar of Moses 'triumph'
;-)

Thursday, September 27

Funny Office Sticky Notes

Purple marker missing!
Please return it ASAP


NO!!


Sunday, September 23

Wisest Men's Nonsense

A little nonsense
Here and there 
Is Cherished by the Wise Men

Wednesday, September 12

Hardships in love!

Beware of tight Jeans fashion! Adhere to proper dress code.. ;-)

Thursday, September 6

European Holiday Washroom Reality

During holidays in europe , whom did he miss more, girlfriend or the hand  Faucet !?

Monday, August 27

Rest your Mobile phones

Give your cell some rest....why? 

A Guy gets out of lift on 7th floor instead of 9th floor.

He says - I was so busy checking messages on my whatsapp...without realising, I went into the neighbour's house and sat on their sofa.  

The  lady of the house was glued to the TV... watching serials...She gave me tea without looking at me. 

When I started drinking Tea, I looked up and saw the lady's husband entering the house....looking into his mobile.  

He saw me and said, "sorry" and went out of the house !!!

😂😂😂😂😂

Tuesday, August 21

Wednesday, August 1

Educated Father's Savage Response

This is savage! 

My dad used to put his thumb impression on my mark sheet.

I asked him: Being a Chartered Accountant, why are you putting your thumb impression, instead of signing on my progress card?

My dad replied: Idiot, after looking at your marks, the teacher should not think that I am educated....
😂😂

Dirty Kids teach you..

That at the end of day ...Be happy

Lounge Menu Question

Should we drink tonite? ;-)

Tuesday, July 31

Sky high Lady

Beautiful lady inside airplane asked the man for help to remove his eyes off her breasts!

Sky high classroom!

My Engagement Photo

Now that's how you take Engagement pictures!

Monday, July 23

Satisfying Billboard

Satisfaction guarranteed ! 
Oh yes, every morning at the signal.

Hallelujah

They know that it's all water after all.

Urdu quote

A great poet once said.... 

Tuesday, June 19

Father's caring Son

5 year old son.....after reading story of a king.....

Son:......Mom, I also want 3 wives.....one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me.......

Mom:....And which one will put you to sleep

Son:..No mom, i will still sleep with you....Mom's eyes filled up with tears ... God bless you son

Mom:...but who will sleep with your  3 wives

Son:....Let them sleep with daddy...

Daddy's eyes filled up with tears... God bless you son ! 😂😆

*Happy Father's Day!*

Saturday, June 16

First game Closing ceremony of Football World Cup 2018

Saudi Arabia player after the world cup match against Russia... ;-)

Wednesday, May 30

Age is just a number...Oldies dance n health

Senior shows his dancing skills and fitness and zest for life at his age

Saturday, May 19

Positive Attitude n Thinking in Difficult Times

Doctor : Your Liver is enlarged.
Patient : Does that mean it has space for more whisky ?
(This is called "Positive Thinking" 😄😄)

Lady to her dietician : What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.
Doc : How come???
Lady : According to my weight, my height should be 7.8 feet... 😜
(Now this is called "Positive Attitude" 👍)

A Man wrote to the bank, "My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank".
(This is self confidence in its peak 😂😂)

This one is classic !!
A cockroach's last words to a man who wanted to kill it : "Go ahead and kill me, you coward. You're just jealous because I can scare your wife and you cannot..!!!!" 😅😅😅

Always be positive even in difficult situations

Monday, May 14

Suffering from Alzheimer’s?

Suffering from Alzheimer's (memory loss) ? 👇🏻

Thursday, May 10

Anti-theft Beer Bag

Skin colored belly beer strapon travel body bag to hide or carry

Self-declaration Cap - Pervert

Name Caps with Adjectives,
people tell more about themselves in single words on their head

Saturday, April 21

Product Advertisement Placement

Durex does it again

How many human politicians?

Quote:

Politicians are like sperm.
One in a million turns out to be a human being.

Hilarious Advertisement Billboard Placements

Funny but uniquely good placement of Male pill advertising billboard on a bus!

Like a Benz

Beauty has its price!

Tuesday, March 27

Blonde Girl Hugs on Road

This guy surprised and happy to see a beautiful girl coming towards him with open arms for a hug!

Himalayan Funny Road Signs

Funny Road Signs on trip to the Himalayas mountain ranges

Saturday, February 17

Thursday, February 15

Earlier Death, Work, War but Offended Nowadys

Abuse on mobile social world is the biggest tragedies these days !!

Wednesday, February 14

Level of Unbortherness

Aim of life is to reach back to this level of unbotherdness

Tags: child,childhood,cute,life,aim,funny picture

Level of Unbortherness

Aim of life is to reach back to this level of unbotherdness

Tags: child,childhood,cute,life,aim,funny picture

Curious Ape (sfw)

Whats here? Girl has to be aware of a monkey.