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Down under !!
A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side.
He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.
'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside.
Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute.
'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.'
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Credentials and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth.
The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.
After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile really,really hard on the top of its head!
The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.'
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A blonde woman timidly Spoke up..........
'I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard
with the beer bottle!'
Funny Blonde Jokes Submitted by Nishi (21), DesiMasala
Frosted Flakes
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "...let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
Submitted by Konifur (31), USA
Christmas Tree
There were two blondes, who went deep into the woods, searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperature and a few close calls with hungry Wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"
Submitted by Mark Hogan (28), Utaha
Desires Of Heart!
A Blonde, a Redhead and a Brunette go into a bar. The bartender tells them there is a magic mirror in the ladies room, if you say one true thing you will receive the desire of your heart, but if you tell a lie you will be sucked into the mirror forever.
The Redhead walks in and says, "I think I am the most intelligent woman here" and *poof* a million dollars falls in her hands. The Brunette walks in and say "I think I am the most beautiful woman here" and *poof* the keys to a mustang falls into her hands.
Next the Blonde walks in and says, "I think..." and *poof* she disappears into the mirror forever.
Submitted by Angelina (21),
Gynae Checkup!
A blonde goes to her gynecologist and tells the doctor that no matter how hard she and her husband have tried, she just can’t get pregnant.
The doctor says, "OK, take off your clothes and lay down on the table."
The blonde says, "Um, all right. But I was really hoping to have my husband’s baby."
Submitted by Hilton (23), Manhattan, USA
Island Natives!!
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde explore Native Island. They get attacked by Natives. The Natives say, "We need your skin to make our boats, so either we kill you, or you can kill yourselves with honour." The girls of course chose to kill themselves with honour, so the Natives show them a plate of weapons.
The brunette takes a knife, "I just want every one of you to know that I love my boyfriend very much." And she falls dead.
The redhead takes a dagger, "I just want every one one of you to know that I was about to graduate." And she falls dead.
The blonde goes to the dinner table and takes a fork. She stabs herself all over once, "I just want everyone to know that your boat is going to leak!"
Blonde Redhead Brunette Joke Submitted by Robert Vida Guerra (20), Pennysylvania
Define Blonde!
What's the true definition of a blonde?
Redhead with the fire of passion missing.
Blond Redhead Joke Submitted by Sylvia Marshal Saint (), Newfoundland, Australia
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