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God's Last Two Gifts
God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things
left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and
Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the
ability to stand up while urinating.
"It's a very handy thing," God told the
couple, who he found under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of
you wanted that ability."
Before God had a chance to explain any further, Adam jumped up and blurted,
"Oh, give that to me! I'd love to, please, oh please, oh please, let me have
that ability, It'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the
animals. I could just stand there and let it go. It would be so wonderful! I could
write my name in the sand! Oh please God, let it be me who you give that
gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please..."
Adam went on and on like an excited little boy who had to pee. Eve just
smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, that he should
have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy and she
really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given this ability.
And so Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his
misdirection while in a vertical position. And so, he was happy and did
celebrate by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with
delight all the while. And it was good.
"Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts, "What's left
here? Oh yes, Multiple orgasms..."
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