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Things Bartenders Know
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could
nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though
interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results:
DRINK: Beer
PERSONALITY: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
YOUR APPROACH: Challenge her to a game of pool.
DRINK: Blender Drinks
PERSONALITY: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
YOUR APPROACH: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
DRINK: Mixed Drinks
PERSONALITY: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky
taste; knows exactly what she wants.
YOUR APPROACH: You won't have to approach her, if she
is interested, she'll send YOU a drink.
DRINK: Wine - (Does not include White Zinfandel, see
below)
PERSONALITY: Conservative and classy; sophisticated, yet giggles.
YOUR APPROACH: Tell her you love to travel and spend
quiet evenings with friends.
DRINK: White Zinfandel
PERSONALITY: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually
has no clue.
YOUR APPROACH: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be
an easy target.
DRINK: Shots
PERSONALITY: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get
totally drunk and naked.
YOUR APPROACH: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed
this evening. Nothing to do but wait. However, be careful not to make
her mad!
Then there is the MALE addendum. The deal with guys is,
as always, very simple and clear cut:
DOMESTIC BEER: He's poor and wants to get laid.
IMPORTED BEER: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
WINE: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a
sophisticated image to help him get laid.
WHISKEY: He doesn't give a hoot about anything but getting laid.
TEQUILA: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless
waitress.
WHITE ZINFANDEL: He's gay.
[BACK TO JOKES]
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