 |
The Real Meanings of College Degrees
Computer Science:
College : Spend most of your time in a dimly lit lab, playing
XTrek and drinking Jolt. Interact only with other CS majors, and only via the 'net if you can manage it.
Become passionately involved only in the continuing IBM/Commodore/Macintosh debate.
Real Life : Spend most of your time in a dimly lit office, playing Flight Simulator and drinking gourmet coffee...
at least five cups an hour. Interact only with your own project team, and then only via e-mail.
Become passionately involved in the continuing debate over who pays when the schedule slips,
which wasn't your fault because you told them to take DOOM-playing into account from the beginning.
Psychology :
College : Spend most of your time in a dimly-lit lab, playing
with rats and other vermin. Drink Jolt by the six-pack to stay up all night with the rodents.
Interact only with other Psychos, but only to analyze their behavior in non-lab situations.
Become involved in the continuing debate over whether a trained rat could succeed as a comp sci major.
Real Life : Spend most of your time in an unemployment line and
living in a cardboard box with other vermin, wishing you'd changed to CS instead of the rat.
Continue to consider yourself superior to social work majors.
Economics :
College : Spend most of your time in a brightly-lit room full of charts and graphs.
Learn about supply and demand, GNP, supply and demand, prime rates, supply
and demand, inflation, and supply and demand.
Real Life : Spend most of your time in a brightly-lit government office with people who look just like you.
Issue reports you wrote in college because you're too lazy to write a new one.
Watch newscaster explain your report to unsuspecting viewers. Listen to
President explain that the economy sucks because of unemployed psychologists.
Philosophy :
College : Read books by dead guys. Debate whether a tree
falling alone in a forest will say, "Oh, fuck! Not again!"
Consider the ethical problems in the killing of annoying street mimes.
Get failed by prof for not liking correct dead guy.
Real Life : Spend most of your time in a dimly lit office, playing Flight Simulator and drinking gourmet
coffee... at least five cups an hour.
Interact only with your own project team, and then only via e-mail.
Become passionately involved in the continuing debate over who pays when the schedule
slips, which wasn't your fault because you told them
to take DOOM-playing into account from the beginning.
Be thankful you switched to comp sci, which pays better than being a dead philosopher.
Math :
College : Spend your time in a cramped office, thinking about
polydimensional shapes and arguing their properties
with other mathematicians. Scream when they steal
your work. Steal their work. Be a social outcast.
Real Life : See above. You work for the university.
Submitted by Ruby Agas (29), South Carolina
Got a good one yourself? Submit your best Computer IT Internet Jokes to FUKKAD, and if we laugh, we might make you famous - or at least put your name, email, address & country on the site.
Send it to us
|
