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Christmas Lines
Why is Santa a good race car driver?
Answer : Because he's always in the pole position.
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
Answer: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: What is Santa's favorite breakfast cereal?
Answer : Frosted Flakes.
Question: What is Frosty's favorite breakfast cereal?
Answer : Snow Flakes
Question: How does Santa Claus take pictures?
Answer : With a North Pole-aroid camera.
What is red and white and goes up and down and up and down?
Answer : Santa Claus stuck in an elevator.
Jokes Submitted by Leonardo (18), U.K.
How to Tell You're a Grinch
* Your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon.
* You turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away.
* You buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas.
* Your favorite version of "Babes in Toyland" stars Michael Jackson.
* Your favorite version of "The Nutcracker" stars Andrew Golata.
* You get your Christmas Tree at a rest stop at night.
* You give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts.
* Your prized Christmas ornament is Santa Claus shooting the moon.
* Your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park.
* Your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese log.
* You think "Ho, Ho, Ho" is a line from a Rocky movie.
* Your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat.
* You use your Christmas Club money to buy wrestling tickets.
Jokes Submitted by Deepthi (), BITS, Pilani
Click to read the rest..
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