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Difference Between Girls and Boys !!
One day Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying his
mother should have a talk with him about the differences between girls and boys.
She brought him up to her room and said "Johnny, take off my top." and he took off her top.
"Now Johnny, take off my skirt." and he took off her skirt.
"Please take off my bra, Johnny." and he took off her bra.
"Johnny please take off my panties." and he took off her panties.
"Now Johnny please don't wear my clothes to school anymore, what were you thinking?"
Submitted by Little Johnny (18),
Blow Dad !!
Little johnny wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents bedroom.
Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you're bouncing up and down on him"
His mom is taken by surprise and says "Oh... well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."
Little johnny says, "That won't work."
His mom says, "Why?"
Little johnny replies "Because the lady next door comes over, after you leave, and blows him back up!"
Submitted by Little Johnny (18),
Can Little Girls Have Babies!!
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
Submitted by Little Johnny (18),
Dad in Car !!
Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car pass the play ground and go into the woods.
Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane in a "Passionate Embrace".
Little Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly,
"MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND...."
Mommy tells him to slow down. She wants to hear the story.
So Little Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss,
then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy...."
At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I wantto see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asks Little Johnny to tell his story.
Johnny starts his story, describing the car going into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat,
and "....then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Navy."
Submitted by Little Johnny (18),
Like Your Thinking !!
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little Johnny.
He replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot"
The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking,"
Then Little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU."
"There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone"
To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, .... but I like your thinking."
Submitted by Little Johnny (18),
Why an F in Arithmetic !!
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!
Submitted by Little Johnny (18),
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