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Coincidence!
Teacher: Give me an example of coincidence.
Student: My father and my mother were both married n the same day!
Submitted by K Swati Ramani (14), Jamshedpur
Anjela: Miss I'm having a lot of problems with asthama.
Teacher: Oh dear! Have yu seen a doctor?
Angela: I don't have it! I just can't spell it!
Submitted by Shriparna (13), Siliguri
Classroom..
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
Submitted by Hemant
Make a sentence
Teacher: Use the word 'swept' in a sentence.
Student: I swept on my pillow!!
Submitted by Cassandra DelToro (),
King Chicken
The infants' teacher is reading Chicken Licken to her class. She has just come to the part where the chicken runs into the King and tells him the sky is falling down.
TEACHER: Now class, what do you think the King said when Chicken Licken said this?
KID: I think he said, 'Oh f*** - a talking chicken.'
Submitted by Lisa Scott (), England
SuNdAy ScHoOl
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, 'Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
'God Almighty!' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'
But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, 'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, 'if you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'
The teacher fainted.
Submitted by SimiBal (), USA
Handsome Sentences
Teacher: Davis, use the word income in a sentence.
Davis: I opened the door and income the dog.
Teacher: No, no. Try the word ransom.
Davis: I saw a skunk and ransom distance to get away.
Teacher: Wrong! Give me a sentence with the word gruesome.
Davis: I wasn't very tall last year but since then I gruesome.
Teacher: Oh, you're hopeless! I'll give you one more chance. Please use the word handsome in a sentence.
Davis: Could you handsome gum to me?
Submitted by Sheena (), USA
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