ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: You're kidding me, right!?
Funnies Submitted by Vicky LLB (18), Zambia & Nicaragua
Funny Cross-Examination in Court
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
Funnies Submitted by Nalin Bhagat (36), Pune High Court, India
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He s aid, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
Funnies Submitted by Dannii Minogue Fan (),
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.
Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief...
"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?"
Crude Lawyer Joke Submitted by Danny (), Jokes that are funny
A mother and son were walking through a cemetery, and passed by a headstone inscribed “Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man.”
The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and asked “Mommy, why did they bury two men there?”
Funnies Submitted by Danny (), Jokes that are funny, Jamaica
From the page: "You May Need A New Lawyer if...
From: You've Got Laughs! The Big Book of Internet Humor by Al Lowe
Lawyer Jokes Submitted by Jay Alexander (), Las Vegas, USA