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What a man really means !!
I'M GOING FISHING
Means: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.
IT'S A GUY THING
Means: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD.
Means: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.
CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?
Means: Why isn't it already on the table?
I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.
Means: I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra.
THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR.
Means: Are you still talking?
HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING
Means: And I sure hope I think of some pretty darn soon.
UH HUH, SURE, HONEY, OR YES, DEAR...
Means: Absolutely nothing.
IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN
Means: I have no idea how it works.
I CAN'T FIND IT.
Means: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.
WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?
Means: "What did you catch me at?
I HEARD YOU.
Means: I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me.
YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.
Means: I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.
YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.
Means: Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving already.
I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.
Means: No one will ever see us alive again.
WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.
Means: I make the mess, she cleans it up.
YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.
Means: I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.
I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES
Means: The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.
OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
Means: I have actually severed a limb, it will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.
Men Women Jokes Submitted by Eva Longoria (), Desperate Housewives
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