First Aid to Terror!|
A group of U.S. marines arriving in Afganistan found themselves taking a surprise refresher course on first
aid. Following an involved lesson on making splints, dressing wounds and applying tourniquets to stop
bleeding, the instructor decided to determine how well the marine class had grasped the information given.
"Goldberg ," he said, pointing to one of the marines, "say you captured Bin Laden and find he has sustained
a minor head wound, what do you do about it?"
"That's easy, Sir," said Goldberg. "I wrap a tourniquet around his neck and tighten it until the bleeding stops."
Jokes Submitted by Cool Himms, DesiMas
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.
"You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where."
"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and
he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that
people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."
"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."
The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
"How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager.
The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?"
"Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine.
"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.
"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I
went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
Jokes Submitted by Hiten A. Raja (), Nairobi, Kenya