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The 20 Laws Of Work
Office politics getting you down? The following should help you negotiate and understand the workplace minefield!
1. If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
2. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
3. Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
4. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you say you're going to do.
5. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
6. When the managers talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
7. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
8. There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks you for a ride home from the office.
9. When in doubt, file it under "miscellaneous."
10. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
11. To err is human, to forgive is usually not the company's policy.
12. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
13. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't
14. You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
15. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
16. At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
17. Following the rules will not get the job done.
18. Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
19. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
Submitted by HaHa (24),
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