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Bored At Target

Things to do at Target while the spouse/partner is taking his/her sweet time:

  • Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
  • Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.
  • Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
  • Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.
  • Put M&M's on lay away.
  • Move "CAUTION WET FLOOR" signs to carpet areas.
  • Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
  • When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why won't you people leave me alone?"
  • Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
  • While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
  • Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible".
  • In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
  • Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!"
  • When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position an scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again".
  • Go into the fitting room and yell real loud ...."Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!"

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