THE DEAF BOOKKEEPER and The Lawyer

May 9th, 2014 / Comments Off on THE DEAF BOOKKEEPER and The Lawyer / by joker

THE DEAF  BOOKKEEPER

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10 MILLION.  His bookkeeper is deaf.

That was the reason he got the job in the first place.  It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing, so he would not have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10MILLION, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer: “Ask him where the money is!”

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido: “Where’s the money?”

Guido signs back: “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

The lawyer tells the Godfather: “He says he doesn’t know what you are talking about.”

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido’s head and says: “Ask him again or I’ll kill him!”

The lawyer signs to Guido: “He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him.”

Guido trembles and signs back: “OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno’s house.”

The Godfather asks the lawyer: “What did he say? ”

The lawyer replies:

“He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger”.
Don’t you just love lawyers?

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World In The Year 1998 The Lewinsky Scandal Broke

May 9th, 2014 / Comments Off on World In The Year 1998 The Lewinsky Scandal Broke / by Maverick

In 1998…

• Jerry Yang was running Yahoo.

jerry yang on time magazine cover

• Google, Inc. was founded.

• The Galileo probe discovers that Jupiter’s moon Europa has a liquid ocean under a thick crust of ice.

• 80–90% of the world’s pagers lost service when the Galaxy IV communications satellite fell out of orbit.

• A gallon of gas cost $1.15.

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100+ Service Businesses to Start Today

April 8th, 2014 / Comments Off on 100+ Service Businesses to Start Today / by FUKKAD!

business ideas - city skyline Convenience-craving consumers are always looking for a way to do things better, faster and cheaper. Often, that means turning to a specialty-services entrepreneur who knows how to get the job done right. Here, Guen Sublette provides some inspiration for aspiring service providers-from adventure-tour leaders to window washers. With 100+ ideas to choose from, you have no excuse not to get started today with your own service business.

Scroll through our ideas and get a taste of what’s out there.

Event Services
Reunion Organizing
Reunite ’em ’cause it pays so good: Whether it’s one big happy family or one big high school class, reunions can be a joyful-and lucrative-occasion for reunion organizers. Schedule the accommodations, coordinate the catering and entertainment, send out the invitations, then sit back and let it all “come together.”

Photography
With your eye for photo opportunities-at weddings, parties, special events and more-you could be zooming in on profits as a freelance photographer. Be prepared to work weekends and evenings (when many clients will need your services) and to hire an assistant to help you juggle your photo paraphernalia.

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Stupid Questions & Snappy Answers About India

March 28th, 2014 / Comments Off on Stupid Questions & Snappy Answers About India / by FUKKAD!

These answers to travel queries on India are the actual responses by the Indian travel information website officials who obviously have an excellent sense of humour!

Q: Does it ever get windy in India? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa- can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand kms, take lots of water.

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School Opens

March 25th, 2014 / Comments Off on School Opens / by FUKKAD!

School Cartoons Jokes

school-teacher-mobile
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Cool, Naughty, Humorous Quotes, Wacky Word Pictures

March 15th, 2014 / Comments Off on Cool, Naughty, Humorous Quotes, Wacky Word Pictures / by FUKKAD!

Remember no one is Perfect. Everybody’s ass has a Crack in it. – anonymous
noone is perfect every ass has crack
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How Four Colors Become Millions!

March 1st, 2014 / Comments Off on How Four Colors Become Millions! / by FUKKAD!

Components of CMYK Printing
How various CMYK inks can be combined into different colors.
four cmyk colors make millions
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Falling In Love! (gif)

February 2nd, 2014 / Comments Off on Falling In Love! (gif) / by Kitty

Falling in Love - Valentin
(click image to email the animation)

Romance In the Valley and say I Love You to ‘fall in love’ (literally)

 

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Rolls Royce – Insult and Comeback

January 4th, 2014 / Comments Off on Rolls Royce – Insult and Comeback / by joker

The Insult:

One day during his visit to London, King Jai Singh was walking in casual dress in Bond Street. He saw a Rolls Royce showroom and went inside to inquire about the Price and Features etc of their cars. Considering him a just another Poor Indian citizen, showroom salesmen insulted him and almost showed him the way out of the showroom. After this insult, King Jai Singh came back to his Hotel room and asked his servants to call the showroom that King of Alwar city is interested in purchasing their few Cars. After few hours King reached the Rolls Royce showroom again but with his full astonishing royal manner and in his royal costume. Until he reached the showroom there was already red carpet on the floor and all the salesmen were bent with respect. The King purchased all the six cars that they had at showroom at that time and paid full amount with delivery costs.

king jai singh rolls royce insult

The Comeback:

After reaching India, King ordered municipal department to use all those six Rolls Royce cars for
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Men Are So Logical…

December 28th, 2013 / Comments Off on Men Are So Logical… / by Maverick

women - men are so logical
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