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TOILET WISDOM (Funny Quotes)
Please don't throw your cigarette butts in the urinal. It makes them soggy and hard to light. -- The Janitor
What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.-- Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY

Contributed by Kirk Douglas (), Beverly Hills

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men. -- Women's restroom, DeweyBeach, DE

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?" -- Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia.

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap. -- Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married! -- Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it. -- Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas

No wonder you always go home alone.-- Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

Beauty is only a light switch away. -- Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. -- Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Flagstaff, Arizona.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. -- Revolution Books, New York, New York

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. -- Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

Contributed by Johnny Depp, 'fan' (22), West Virginia

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