50 funniest Homer Simpson Quotes|
50 of Homer Simpson's funniest lines and moments for you to laugh at.
- Operator! Give me the number for 911!
- Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
- Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
- Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
- I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
- Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
- Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
- Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'
- Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.
- Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
- You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
- Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
- When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
- Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
- I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
- [Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
- What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
- Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
- Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
- The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
- When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
- I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
- Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
- I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
- Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
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Contributed by Lazy Girl Guide (), USA
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