Real Estate Humor Property

A housewarming is the final call for those who haven’t sent a wedding present

Realtor: first you folks tell me what you can afford, then we’ll have a good laugh and go on from there.

Home is where the mortgage is.

Realtor sign :- We have “lots” to be thankful for.

A Modern home is a place where a switch controls everything but the kids, and it has gadgets to do everything except make the payments.

The house has a wall to wall carpet and back to wall payment.

My buyer told me that he lived in the same house for 10 years. When I checked, I found out he’d still be there today if the Governor hadn’t pardoned him.

Why do you have your front door leading right into the dining room? So my relatives won’t have to waste any time.

Our new house has one down payment and 240 darn payments.

The sellers told me their house was near the water. It was in the basement.

How much are they asking for your rent now? Oh, about twice a day.

I have a temporary mortgage. What do you mean temporary? Until they foreclose.

The dream of the older generation was to pay off a mortgage. The dream of today’s young families is to get one.

There is no longer a need for the neutron bomb. We already have something that destroys people and leaves buildings intact. It’s called a mortgage.

If you think no one cares you’re alive, miss a couple of house payments.

My buyers went through debt consolidation. Now they have only one bill they won’t pay.

I listed a maintenance free house. In the last 25 years there hasn’t been any maintenance.

Did you hear about Robin Hood’s house? It has a little John.

My agent was always smiling. I didn’t think anybody could have that many teeth without being a barracuda.

If you want to know exactly where the property line is, just watch the neighbor cut the grass.

Houses today don’t have enough closet space. Sure they do. They’re just called guest bedrooms.

A lot of homes have been spoiled by inferior desecrators.–Frank Lloyd Wright

I bought a two story house. One story before I bought, and another after.

The house is only 5 minutes from shopping . . .if you’ve got an airplane.

This country is great. It’s the only place where you can borrow money for a downpayment, get a 1st and 2nd mortgage and call yourself a homeowner.

The best part of a real estate bargain is the neighbor.

The house was more covered with mortgages than with paint.

A man’s home is his castle. That’s how it seems when he pays taxes on it.

Sign next to FSBO – We shoot every third agent and the 2nd one just left.

This house has every new convenience except low payments.

The trouble with owning a home is that no matter where you sit, you’re looking at something you should be doing.

They have an all electric home. Everything in it is charged.

My buyers want a new home on the outskirts — of their income, that is.

A Happy Home is a place where each spouse entertains the possibility that the other may be right though neither believes it.

By the time you pay for a home in the suburbs, it isn’t.

A typical home has a TV set that is adjusted better than the kids.

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This entry was posted on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 07:21 and is filed under Jokes, Professional Jokes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.Both comments and pings are currently closed.