Rules of Chocolate

Chocolate has its own set of rules, so pay attention, especially since this is Easter: If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. If you can’t get your chocolate home in your overheated car before it melts, you must eat it all in the car. A good diet tip is to eat at least half a dozen chocolate bars before dinner. That way you won’t really be hungry and can write off that high-calorie evening meal. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, something is seriously wrong with you. Money talks. Chocolate sings. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger, so eat up! Some people once attempted to form an organization called Chocoholics Anonymous, but it failed because no one wanted to quit. Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done. Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So to meet the dietary recommendations for daily vegetable and dairy intake, eat more chocolate!

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This entry was posted on Sunday, March 31st, 2013 at 18:51 and is filed under Health, Trivia. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.