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6 Worst Ways to Begin a Date

The date from Hell. We may or may not have been through it, but there are definitely ways to prevent it. Not only are you in control of how certain situations may explode, you may also be the catalyst. Here are some ways to avoid dying in despair at the dinner table.

Showing Up Unprepared
Don't just show up at her door and say "So, any ideas?" If you don't have some sort of order of events hammered out you're probably going to screw it up. A little spontaneity never hurt anybody but you can't count on the two of you coming up with an idea on the spur of the moment. Besides, chicks really dig a guy who can take charge sometimes. Get an idea of where the date is going to take place (i.e. this restaurant at 7, that movie at 9, etc.), then you can move on to actually getting something going with the other person. You can change the plan on the fly if you're both in to it, but you've got to have an idea first.

Being Rude
Girls don't like cursing, farting, nose picking, coughing, sneezing with out covering your mouth, wrinkly clothes, bedhead, dirt, crappy cars, no money, no credit cards, bad breath, beer stained, b.o. smelling, non shaving, eating shit off the floor, taking a shit in her bathroom, shit stain, pocket protector wearing nerds with no casual sense. Avoid all aforementioned traits and you should be able to nail a hottie.

Talk About the Ex
This one will ream you if you aren't careful. On a first date, women are trying to feel you out to make sure you're not a psycho. If you can woo a woman enough and then pay her enough attention, maybe she'll let you feel her out.
After you establish initial rapport, she really only cares about you fawning over her; all she wants to hear from you is questions about her and compliments to follow.
Before this, however, you need to expose yourself to her so she can build trust. She's going to want to know a lot about you. You must talk, but you must not divulge too much about ex-girlfriends, or more accurately, you must not dwell on the facts too much. Too many stories about the ex, no matter how funny they are, will make you very unattractive very fast.

Don't Talk About Yourself
Shortly after the initial meeting between you and your date, only mention aspects of yourself when asked, no matter how valuable. Your date will no doubt desire your attention, and she should warrant it, so speak freely and openly about things you may agree on without including yourself in each sentence.

Make Rude Bodily Noises
Of course, coughing and sneezing are sometimes unavoidable, but take care to turn away from her as it happens.
Many guys don't realize when they are making loud snorting noises. Trying to suck up that mucus up your sinuses and down your throat to swallow the nice gob of gunk, eh? Great, we don't want to hear it. Excuse yourself and blow your nose or whatever you have to do in private and away from your date.

Not Showing Up Kempt
Seriously, she will notice right away if you have put any effort in to your appearance whatsoever. You don't have to go all out. But you should smell good, tidy up your facial hair, clean out your ears and fingernails, and perhaps get a hair cut. Same goes for your car, clean the fucking thing before picking her up.

The boyishly awkward but charming date only happens when fat middle age men write television shows for adolescent girls. Just go, be free, and have fun. A good date occurs when compatibility is unearthed, and that can’t happen if one party is guarding his true nature.

Submitted by Copyright © 2003 Rush Staff (), Rush

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