Chad - The Sports Announcer
5:58 PM Saturday, October 13th
"Please folks, I’m running late. Excuse me. Thank you. I’ll sign autographs on my way out, but I’m supposed to be on the air in 2 minutes. Excuse me. Please let me by, thanks."
The Bears suck! The Bears suck!
Go Blue! Go Blue! Go Blue!
Jordan will score 64 points tonight! 3rd round knockout for Sampson. LSU by 4 points over Tulane.
Eagles Number 1! Philly all the way!
Once inside, the Director said "Christ Steve, straighten your tie and get on the set, could you maybe get here 2 minutes sooner?"
"I got a damn speeding ticket and then the cop wanted to talk draft picks!"
10 seconds to live broadcast; . . . 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - go
"Glad to have you with us Sports Fans, this is Chad Sterling in Chicago, hope your team is a winner. You are the Big winner every time you join us at ESPD, keeping you up to date on sports, outdoor activities, and competition from around the world."
"Tonight we have late breaking baseball news; the season is over! That’s absolutely fabulous news for Football fans, because we are well into the 6th week of the collegiate season. We will quit yanking your chain and get right down to the "X’s" and "O’s"; defense, defense, and more defense. All of the big powerhouse teams are thankful for a 2 point victory this year, parity at the University level is up and running. Gone are the days of 50+ point victories." "We have a slew of upsets again today."
"We switch you now to Tom Troutman with his exclusive coverage of the post game locker-room coach’s summary of Notre Dame’s 1 point lose to underdog Iowa. If you can’t stand a little foul language, you may want to turn the channel to ‘Andy of Mayberry.’ Bobby Flanders is NOT a happy camper and his team was aware of that as soon as he opened his mouth; take it away Tom!"
"I barely made it on the set, I was so late. Have I got time to take a leak, what’s the Notre Dame feed, 60 seconds?"
2 ½ minutes, have at it Steve.
"Thank God, I could have whizzed right over the boom mike."
Limping to the men’s room, Steve Bokowski, A.K.A. Chad Sterling to millions of sports fans, mumbles and bitches all the way off the set.
He severely twisted a knee 3 weeks earlier in a lunch hour "Non Contact" football scrimmage and life has been less that sweet since then. He has been notified that his apartment building is going "Condo" and he has less than a month to find somewhere else to live. Packing up and dragging 4 years worth of trash and accumulation down 3 flights of stairs, loading trucks, unloading trucks, sorting and placing all that junk into a unit he has yet to lease, is not his idea of fun.
Last week, Bonnie, Steve’s long time squeeze, required 6 Bloody Marys to get up the nerve to loudly inform him that she didn’t mean for it to happen, but her heart and several of the other vital parts of her body have moved in a new direction, but she would like for her and Steve to remain friends. The crowd at Captain Charlie’s Crab House was thoroughly entertained!
Today he just got a ticket and was nearly late for "College Game Day" on the Country’s most popular television sports program.
By far, Steve’s biggest worry came to light last Monday morning. The Station Manager, Don Douglas, called in the entire College Football commentator team, informing them that his granddaughter could pick more winners than any one of this group. If they were bored or lacked the enthusiasm to do a little research and check the probabilities for victory, then there were only about 3 million American men waiting to replace them. Everybody was dismissed except Steve.