Walking down the street headed to the pizza parlor, you never expect to fall in love with your soul mate, do you?!?! I never, ever thought about meeting someone i wanted to spend the rest of my life with in the blink of an eye.
i didnt ever really know what to think of love at first sight, i never really had an opinion on it before one summer day.
I was headed to the pizza shop, meeting with friends, nothing unusual. Well as i walked in i saw him, i saw the man i wanted to marry, some weird voice told me, he was my future.
I was totaly freaked out by what i was feeling. I then realized it was love at first sight. i was curious, i mean he was hott, seemed funny, kool, down to earth, so i desided to go talk to him.
I didnt want to scare him away so i didnt tell him about how i had a feeling we would marry. I mean it probaly wasnt true. We got to talking and he seemed really interesting,
we exchanged numbers and info. we kept in touch, and eventully started dating, he kept me up some nights because all i would think about was him or the strange feelings and thoughts i was having.
We dated for about a year and a half, we were literly in love. It was just undescribalble, he was THE most amazing person i have ever met. I am still young so it seems a little weird, me falling in love so soon,
but it was true, it was meant to be. I never suspected that one night he wouldn't be returning my cals or meeting me at the mall and whatnot, i thought it would last forever,
i never thought the unthinkable. one night i recieved a call it basically told me that i had just lost the love of my life, forever.
He wasnt just breaking up woth me, he was leaving me in the worst way imaginalbe. I never saw him again,and i never will. He died, he left me forever and all i have is memories,
i do blame the drivers that hit him, i hold them completly responisble, i would understand if it was truley and accident, but taking drugs, and drinking, then driving was not smart,
and wasnt an accident, they knew if they took them something could of happened, it just happened to be my boyfriend, my soulmate, my mister innocent, he was just an all around perfect guy.
I know i shouldnt stop my life, but its hard to just leave it behind and live while he's gone. I know without a doubt he's probaly in heaven, he beilved in god, he loved jesus, he did his best to live the right path.
So i guess the feeling and truth i had once owned, it wasnt true, we will never get married, or spend the rest of our lives together, because some drunk/high "cool" kids had to drve, and hit him. He wasnt at fault, and niether am i.
I do realize that i need to move on, and as people who know me can tell, im not good at it. This has sort of isolated me, like i am trapped, i dont know what my future holds now, but i am taking one step at a time, and slowly pulling my self out of this trama.
I never told one soul about this, i have one other tramatising story, and when people ask about me i try not to tell them anything , but if i had to tell one of them, i would tell my other one because this one is the one that holds me back the most.
All i want to say is i dont want people feeling sorry for me, and thats another reason why i dont tell anyone, i am trying to open up more but it is really hard, people tell me that i will feel better once i told someone, and i figure this is a half step.
Submitted by Copyright © 2003 Astoria A.k.A:ThE_NeRdY_cHiCk (),
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