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How To Make Friends In An Elevator
- Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World"
incessantly.
- Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside
ask, "Got enough air in there"?
- Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear
yours upside down.
- Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other
passengers.
- When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that
your beeper?"
- Say "DING!" at each floor.
- Say "I wonder what all these do..." and push any and all red
buttons.
- Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
without getting off.
- Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:
"Shut up, NOW, all of you just shut UP!"
- Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake
and ask them to call you Admiral.
- Stare, grinning at another passenger for while, and then
announce: "I've got new socks on!"
- Meow occasionally.
- Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your
nose.
- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the
doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by
themselves.
- Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the
side.
- Stare at another passenger for a while, and then announce:
"You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the
elevator.
- Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to
the other passengers that this is your "personal space".
- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Submitted by Kerissa (19), US
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