Witty Words of Famous Personalities

# I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. ~ Winston Churchill

# Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. ~ Anonymous

# I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

# Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. ~ Albert Einstein

# A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice. ~ Bill Cosby

# If you love your job, you haven’t worked a day in your life. ~ Tommy Lasord

# I never think of the future – it comes soon enough. ~ Albert Einstein

# Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~ Bob Hopeabout

# I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. ~ Steve Martin

# In God we trust; all others must pay cash.

# If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ~ Anonymous

# Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. ~ Lily Tomlin

# Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. ~ Mrs. White, (Clue 1985) ~ Anonymous

# If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? – Annonymous

# You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is ‘never try’. – Homer Simpson

# Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. – Maryon Pearson

# Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils – Louis Hector Berlioz

# “How come I get all the hard questions?” – Olliver North

# “When in doubt, change the rules.” – James T. Kirk

# “Factorials were someone’s attempt to make math LOOK exciting.” – Steven Wright

# “The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.” – Oscar Wilde

# “A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.” – Elbert Hubbard

# “Wow.. Look at all the colors….” – Ray Charles on acid

# “When is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?” – Henry Ward Beecher

# “You gotta put your behind in your past!” – Pumbaa in “The Lion King”

# “Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get.” – Robert A. Heinlein

# “A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.” – Sir Barnett Cocks

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