Wednesday, July 31

My Husband Not At Home

Some days ago, I came to know a  girl on the Internet. Beautiful...

After some chat, I felt that we had connected at a deeper level.

Yesterday, she asked me to visit her house and said, "My husband is on a business trip, and I'm alone at home."

I was very cautious and asked, "Will your husband suddenly come back?

She said, "No, but just in case he does, you just say that you are from Cleaning Co. and that your company sent you to clean the house. And then, clean the glass or something." "Anyway, the Pongal festival is coming. My husband won't suspect a thing."

Fast forward, I was at her house. And what a big coincidence - Not even minutes in the house, her husband came back! 

I had to be quiet and pretend to do the cleaning, wiping windows, cleaning the kitchen and the floor. And also tidy the bedrooms and wash the bathrooms. All the while, her husband and her was next to me giving all kinds of ridiculous instructions.

When I had finished and was about to leave, her husband asked, "How much?"

Even before I could utter a word, she said, "I have already paid the company." 

On the way home, I kept thinking about the whole saga. The more I thought about it, the more I felt DAMN cheated 😰...

Cleaners are hard to find, beware of the new scam! 
πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Sunday, July 28

Ingredients of Beer

Cyclists

Hilarious but true too πŸ˜„

CEO of a Bank got economists thinking when he said :

A cyclist🚴🏼 is a disaster for the country's economy

- He does not buy the car & does not take car loan

- Does not buy car insurance

- Does not buy Fuel

- Does not send his car for servicing & repairs

- Does not use paid Parking

- Does not become Obese

- Yes,.....and well, damn it !!  Healthy people are not needed for economy. They do not buy drugs. They do not go to Hospitals & Doctors.

They add nothing to country's GDP.

On the contrary, every new McDonald outlet creates at least 30 jobs - 10 Cardiologists, 10 Dentists, 10 weight loss experts apart from people working in McDonald outlet.

Choose wisely:
A Cyclist or a McDonald ?
 
Worth thinking. πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

Friday, July 19

Friends' Advise for Married Happiness!

After the death of his wife an elderly man married a young woman .. 

Now he was spending less time with his friends. His concerned friends enquired if there was a problem.

"I'm to pass time with you but my poor wife gets lonely when I'm away." 

Friends advised him to keep a young tenant at home, your wife will be happy in the company of a younger person.

The elderly man promptly acted on their advise and leased a room in house to a young tenant.

The friends were meeting more often. One day the friends jokingly asked, "How is your wife now?" 

She is not lonely at all, in fact she is happy and *"She is pregnant"*



The friends laughed, as they expected this. "How is the tenant?" they asked.





The man replied very soberly 
*"She is also pregnant* .." 

Never underestimate the *Power of - Senior Citizen* 
πŸ•ΊπŸ•ΊπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ

Tuesday, July 16

Cricket World Cup 2019

In this Cricket World Cup we have witnessed:

1. Two Days of a "One Day" match between India and NZ
2. A Six in the final that went rolling on the ground
3. NZ losing the final by "ZERO RUNS" and "ZERO WICKETS"
4. An Irishman lifting the World Cup for England
5. A final decided by a weird rule and bad umpiring
6. First time ever in cricket a team never won a match by runs or wickets but by a rule

Congrats ICC for a great comedy show in the guise of an international cricket competition!

Monday, July 15

Stuff You May Like

Seniors' Daily Humor