Liberal Leftists' Rightist Son

I asked my friend's son what he wanted to be when he grows up. He said he wanted to be Prime Minister some day.

Both of his parents, LIBERAL LEFTISTS, were standing there, so I asked him, 'If you were Prime Minister, what would be the first thing you would do?'

He replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' His parents beamed with pride.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told him. 'But you don't have to wait until you're Prime Minister to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you Rs.500. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the same 500 rupee note for food and new set of clothes .'

He thought that over for a few seconds, then he looked me straight in the eyes and asked, ' Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him Rs.500?'

I said, 'Welcome to the RIGHTIST fold.'

His parents still aren't speaking to me.

(Author Unknown)

Dedicated to all those who think distributing freebies is kindness.

Late for Appointment at Gynecologist

A gynecologist waits on his last patient, who does not arrive.

After an hour, he makes a gin and tonic to relax.  After he settles into an armchair to read the newspaper, he hears the doorbell ring.

It's the patient, who arrives all embarrassed and apologizes for the delay.

"It doesn't matter," answers the doctor.  "Look, I was having a gin and tonic while waiting. Do you want one to help you relax?"

"I accept, thanks!" She answers.  

He gives her a drink, sits down in front of her and they start talking. Suddenly someone is heard opening the entrance office door.

The doctor looks worried, gets up and says: 

"My wife! Quick, take off your clothes and spread your legs, otherwise she might think there is some nonsense going on!"

😋😂😉😀

Today's School

They Said No Phone Inside the School

Today School is Inside the Phone

Dad for Life

No recall vote for Impeachment, 

Father's constitution is written for Life (with help from mother) 

;-)

Happy Father's Day

the first teacher 

the best Papa / Bapu / Abba / Dad

Happy Father's Day

New Boyfriend's Jet

My Ex was over the cloud with the new Man in her life.

"He said he had a Private Jet"

Ecstasy

Back and forth. . . in and out. . .in and out . . .a little to the right. . . a little to the left . . . she could feel the sweat on her forehead . . . between her breasts. . .

and, trickling down the small of her back. . . she was getting near to the end.

He was in ecstasy. . .

with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved. . .

forwards then backwards. . .

forward then backward. . .

again. . .

and again. . .

her heart was pounding now. . .

her face was flushed . . .

she moaned softly at first, then began to groan louder . . .

finally . . .

totally exhausted . . .

she let out a piercing scream . . . . .

"OK, OK, you smug bastard, I can't parallel park.  You do it!"

Suez Canal Navigator

The Captain driving on road back from Suez Canal ship duty.

Income Tax Declaration

new declaration of immovable property in Income Tax return.

Aged Love to Perfection

Love each other to perfection ;-)

ID ten T Error

As we oldies know, sometimes we have  trouble with our computers. 

Yesterday, I had a problem, so I called Raaju, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.

Raaju clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?

He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' 

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

Raaju grinned, 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?' 

'No,' I replied. 

'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'

So I wrote down:

ID10T

 I used to like Raaju, but 

 not anymore.🤔😁