Pages

Thursday, October 18

Proof of Innocence

Lawyer: "To prove my client's innocence, I would like to present my client's internet search history from that evening."
Accused: "My Lord, I would rather confess to the murder"

Thursday, October 11

You having Bad Day at Work! Read on...

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Read his letter below...

Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.

This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my ass was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!! 
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
  😂😂

Thursday, October 4

THE first Motorcycle Rider!

Old testament says about Roar of Moses 'triumph'
;-)

Thursday, September 27

Funny Office Sticky Notes

Purple marker missing!
Please return it ASAP


NO!!


Sunday, September 23

Wisest Men's Nonsense

A little nonsense
Here and there 
Is Cherished by the Wise Men

Wednesday, September 12

Hardships in love!

Beware of tight Jeans fashion! Adhere to proper dress code.. ;-)

Thursday, September 6

European Holiday Washroom Reality

During holidays in europe , whom did he miss more, girlfriend or the hand  Faucet !?

Monday, August 27

Rest your Mobile phones

Give your cell some rest....why? 

A Guy gets out of lift on 7th floor instead of 9th floor.

He says - I was so busy checking messages on my whatsapp...without realising, I went into the neighbour's house and sat on their sofa.  

The  lady of the house was glued to the TV... watching serials...She gave me tea without looking at me. 

When I started drinking Tea, I looked up and saw the lady's husband entering the house....looking into his mobile.  

He saw me and said, "sorry" and went out of the house !!!

😂😂😂😂😂

Tuesday, August 21

Wednesday, August 1

Educated Father's Savage Response

This is savage! 

My dad used to put his thumb impression on my mark sheet.

I asked him: Being a Chartered Accountant, why are you putting your thumb impression, instead of signing on my progress card?

My dad replied: Idiot, after looking at your marks, the teacher should not think that I am educated....
😂😂