May 4th, 2009 / Comments / by Maverick
As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions. – Woody Allen
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn’t get bigger or heavier. – Bill Gates
They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them! – George Carlin
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I’m in a cabinet meeting. – Ronald Reagan
If you ask me, I’d like to become the first female president. That would be really cool. The first thing I would do is redecorate the White House, it doesn’t look very cozy. – Jennifer Lopez
Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better. – George W. Bush
I’ll watch a Keanu Reeves movie and I’ll go, ‘Wow, he’s really not a very good actor!’ – Ashton Kutcher
Profanity is the adjective of the feeble minded. – Gordon Lane
When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit. – George Carlin
A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
He who stops being better stops being good. – Oliver Cromwell
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy – Erica Jong
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. – Albert Einstein
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it! – Franklin Jones
Outside of the killings, Washington DC has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. – Marion Barry
A hospital bed is a parked taxi, with the meter running. – Groucho Marx
I would never die for my beliefs, because I might be wrong. – Bertrand Russell
A man is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he quits. – Richard Nixon
I’m paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rear view mirror. – Richard Lewis
If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. – Dolly Parton
Dog is God spelled backwards. That means something, I’m just not sure what exactly, but human is numah spelled backwards. – Marc-Christophe
July 5th, 2014 / Comments / by joker
20 Creepiest things you can whisper in someone else’s ear when giving them a hug!
July 3rd, 2014 / Comments / by FUKKAD!
Sometimes you just have to close your eyes,…..
June 15th, 2014 / Comments / by Kitty
Fun Fitness Motivational Ads That Will Get You To The Gym!
Gym Pole Dance Workout – Lowers your risk of heart attack, Raises your husband’s!
June 9th, 2014 / Comments / by FUKKAD!
June 7th, 2014 / Comments / by FUKKAD!
Tommy discovered his wife was cheating with another guy, so he went to the guy’s wife and told her about it.
“I know what we will do”, she said, “Let’s take revenge on him.”
So together they went to a motel and had revenge.
June 7th, 2014 / Comments / by FUKKAD!
A farmer was selling his peaches door to door.
He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door.
He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, “Would you like to buy some peaches?”
She pulled the top of her negligee to one side and asked, “Are they as firm as this?”
May 9th, 2014 / Comments / by joker
THE DEAF BOOKKEEPER
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10 MILLION. His bookkeeper is deaf.
That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing, so he would not have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10MILLION, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer: “Ask him where the money is!”
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido: “Where’s the money?”
Guido signs back: “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
The lawyer tells the Godfather: “He says he doesn’t know what you are talking about.”
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido’s head and says: “Ask him again or I’ll kill him!”
The lawyer signs to Guido: “He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him.”
Guido trembles and signs back: “OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno’s house.”
The Godfather asks the lawyer: “What did he say? ”
The lawyer replies:
“He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger”.
Don’t you just love lawyers?
May 9th, 2014 / Comments / by Maverick
• Jerry Yang was running Yahoo.
• Google, Inc. was founded.
• The Galileo probe discovers that Jupiter’s moon Europa has a liquid ocean under a thick crust of ice.
• 80–90% of the world’s pagers lost service when the Galaxy IV communications satellite fell out of orbit.
• A gallon of gas cost $1.15.
April 8th, 2014 / Comments / by FUKKAD!
Convenience-craving consumers are always looking for a way to do things better, faster and cheaper. Often, that means turning to a specialty-services entrepreneur who knows how to get the job done right. Here, Guen Sublette provides some inspiration for aspiring service providers-from adventure-tour leaders to window washers. With 100+ ideas to choose from, you have no excuse not to get started today with your own service business.
Scroll through our ideas and get a taste of what’s out there.
Reunite ‘em ’cause it pays so good: Whether it’s one big happy family or one big high school class, reunions can be a joyful-and lucrative-occasion for reunion organizers. Schedule the accommodations, coordinate the catering and entertainment, send out the invitations, then sit back and let it all “come together.”
With your eye for photo opportunities-at weddings, parties, special events and more-you could be zooming in on profits as a freelance photographer. Be prepared to work weekends and evenings (when many clients will need your services) and to hire an assistant to help you juggle your photo paraphernalia.
March 28th, 2014 / Comments / by FUKKAD!
These answers to travel queries on India are the actual responses by the Indian travel information website officials who obviously have an excellent sense of humour!
Q: Does it ever get windy in India? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa- can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand kms, take lots of water.