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Wednesday, April 14

Epitome of Go Fu*k Yourself

If the male octopus way of providing female octopus to inseminate herself isn't the most epic way if saying 'go fu*k yourself' then don't know what is!!

Monday, April 12

French Connection

Pardon my French but....
'louvrΓ¨ lagΓ© parΓ¨ ' hain 

Sunday, April 11

ANNUAL Performance Self-Appraisal 2020

Corona Virus Submitted  its 'Annual Performance Self - Appraisal' for  2020, for promotion:
1.  Responsible for Global Digital Transformation and fast-tracking.
2.  Reduction of Global CO2 emission.
3.  Five million jobs "restructuring".
4.  Global Hygiene initiatives: Ensured 100% compliance on washing hands... leading to collateral reduction of other communicable diseases.
5.  Made global industry shift to WFH - saved exposure and costs.
6.  Reduction in global noise pollution by making everyone keep their mouth shut (while masked). πŸ˜‚
7.  Taught cooking, vegetable shopping, housekeeping to many.
8.  Highlighted the importance of governance, adaptability and long term planning, by all sectors.
9.  Spiritual contribution - Provided ample time to all people for reflection.
10. Provided a big boost to the Pharma sector, brought small utility stores back into priority. 
11. Taught family values and values of life again.
12. Taught how to manage funds by avoiding unnecessary expenses.
13. Oriented masses towards prevention of disease through Yoga, cycling, walking and healthy lifestyles.
14. Ushered in a new phase of social reforms - in controlling ostentatious and wasteful expenditure in socio-religious events.
15. Stopped wasteful expenditure in business travels, unnecessary holidays and vacations, and brought in use of technology through videoconferencing, and innovative staycations.

After due consideration: 
*Covid19 Coronavirus is promoted to next higher level with a mutant version.*

Wednesday, April 7

Easter Sale

Durex advertisement, make it everyday Easter for you

Tuesday, April 6

Before Discovery of Oxygen

Oxygen was discovered in 1772.
.
.
Before 1772 people used to die just before their birth!!

Politician's love for Country

A politician is a person
who will lay down your life for his country.

Sunday, April 4

Friday, April 2

Wednesday, March 31

ICU Airlines

Nowadays Boarding a flights seems like entering an ICU

Tuesday, March 30

We Are Special

Humans are special kind of stupid...

Social distancing At the Airport and 
In the Aircraft !

Wednesday, March 24

Lady Cow

Yelled 'Cow' at the woman on a bike and she gave me the finger. Then, ... 
I tried!

Monday, March 22

Seeking Advertisement in Bathroom

Now that your client has lost weight,
You may advertise your Bikini

Wednesday, March 17

Marriage n Vaccination

Got Vaccinated and lived Corona free

is as much a myth as,

Got married and lived happily ever after!

🀣🀣

Friday, March 12

I Love Karma

Karma

The man who just drive into the parking I was waiting for and who said fuck off to me has arrived for interview .. with me! 😈😁 

Thursday, March 11

English can be Life saver

Sometimes bad English can be a life saver  .... πŸ˜€πŸ˜…πŸ€£

One evening on the outskirts of London, a millionaire Englishman was walking with his dog when suddenly a Pakistani came out of the bushes and fired three shots and killed his dog. 

Surprised and shocked, the Englishman said: "Why did you do that ?"

Pakistani: *"Your wife gave me 5000 Euros and said Kill the son of a bitch"*. 

There were tears in the eyes of the Englishman and he hugged the Pakistani and said: *"I will never forget the kindness of your English teacher for the rest of my life!"* 

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Wednesday, March 10

Tips for Happy Married Life

2 tips for a happy married life:

1. Keep Quiet when your wife is talking.
2. Don't Talk when she is quiet.

Sunday, March 7

Thursday, February 25

How to keep your wife away from your mobile phone!

Did you know that your wife will be holding your mobile when you will be in ICU for 14 days?
Prevent it.
"Wear the Mask"

Tuesday, February 23

Saturday, February 20

Garage for Success

Where it all started?
.
.
To be successful, 'one' prime requirement is that you own a garage!

Friday, February 12

Wednesday, February 10

Paneer (Cottage Cheese)

What is the difference between 
Paneer Masala and Paneer Tikka Masala?


The latter is vaccinated.
😝😁🀣

Friday, February 5

Office Lunch Proposal

Office Lunch Date Refusal

"I've asked you out for lunch and you saying you have a boyfriend. Is he hungry too?"

Tuesday, February 2

Monday, February 1

Life lessons from Snowman

Snowman
 
Looking for some life lessons? Check out this piece entitled:
 
All I Need To Know About Life I Learned From a Snowman
 
1. It's OK if you're a little bottom heavy.
 
2. Hold your ground, even when the heat is on.
 
3. Wearing white is always appropriate.
 
4. Winter is the best of the four seasons.
 
5. It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection.
 
6. There's nothing better than a foul weather friend.
 
7. The key to life is to have a jolly, happy soul.
 
8. You know you've made it when they write a song about you.
 
9. There's no stopping once you're on a roll.
 
10. Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize!

Sunday, January 31

Advantages of a Hypocrite

"the best part being an Hypocrite is You can still denounce Hypocrisy".

Friday, January 29

Sign of a Genius

Zoom online class student 'Reconnecting', already a born genius :-)

Wednesday, January 27

Apple Of Men

You know Apple is run by men...
When they call it an iPhone 6+ 
And it's only 5.5inches.

Tuesday, January 26

Motivational Quotes are like...

Motivational Quotes are like...
..
Very moving at that instant but Don't Last Long 
And you seek more!

Wednesday, January 20

Plasma TV Advice at European Supermarket Ayia Napa

Durex Ad Sign at P&M Supermarket Europe
'A baby is never a, Surprise, or, Mistake! You had s*x without a condom. What did you expect? A Plasma TV!?'

Saturday, January 16

Wednesday, January 13

Saree Fashion Trend

Ethnic Saree fashion 2050 forecast as per the current trend of various celebrities and designers.

Saturday, January 9

Data Leaked

Your data leaked by social media platform, 
But then you realiZe your data is as worthless aa you are!!

Privacy Policy Changed

We have updated our privacy policy.
#facebook #whatsapp #google

Tuesday, January 5

iPhone 6+

Woman Twitteratti on Men and men run companies.