Saturday, May 18

Indian Students are Disliked Abroad!

*Why Indian Students are Disliked Abroad!*

It was the first day of school in the USA and a new Indian student named Chandra Subramanian entered the 4th grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. 

Teacher :- Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandra, who had his hand up: 

Chandra :- 'Patrick Henry, 1775,'.

'Very good! 

Teacher :- Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, 
shall not perish from the Earth?''

Again, no response except from Chandra:- 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863'.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed.
Chandra, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'

She heard a loud stage whisper: 'F**k  the Indians.'

'Who said that?' she demanded. But Chandra put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?' 

Again, Chandra says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? S**k  this!'

Chandra jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,
'Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997.'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said
'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'

Chandra frantically yells at the top of his voice, 'Michael Jackson to the child witness testifying against him in 2004.'

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're scr*w*d!!

And Chandra said quietly, 'Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008'.


Friday, May 10

Polish Man Wants Divorce from American Wife

A Polish man married an American girl, and though his English wasn't very good, they got along very well. One day he rushes into a lawyer's office and asks him to arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer says that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asks him the following questions:
"Have you any grounds?" 
"Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home."

 "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?" 
"It's made of concrete."

 "I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?" 
"No, we have carport, and not need one." 

"I mean what are your relations like?" 
"All my relations still in Poland." 

"Is there any infidelity in your marriage?" 
"We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player."

 "Does your wife beat you up?" 
"No, I always up before her." 

"Why do you want this divorce?" 
"She going to kill me."

 "What makes you think that??" 
"I got proof." 
"What kind of proof?" 
"She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read English pretty good, and it say: 



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Indian Students are Disliked Abroad!