New Boyfriend's Jet

My Ex was over the cloud with the new Man in her life.

"He said he had a Private Jet"

Ecstasy

Back and forth. . . in and out. . .in and out . . .a little to the right. . . a little to the left . . . she could feel the sweat on her forehead . . . between her breasts. . .

and, trickling down the small of her back. . . she was getting near to the end.

He was in ecstasy. . .

with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved. . .

forwards then backwards. . .

forward then backward. . .

again. . .

and again. . .

her heart was pounding now. . .

her face was flushed . . .

she moaned softly at first, then began to groan louder . . .

finally . . .

totally exhausted . . .

she let out a piercing scream . . . . .

"OK, OK, you smug bastard, I can't parallel park.  You do it!"

Suez Canal Navigator

The Captain driving on road back from Suez Canal ship duty.

Income Tax Declaration

new declaration of immovable property in Income Tax return.

Aged Love to Perfection

Love each other to perfection ;-)

ID ten T Error

As we oldies know, sometimes we have  trouble with our computers. 

Yesterday, I had a problem, so I called Raaju, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.

Raaju clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?

He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' 

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

Raaju grinned, 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?' 

'No,' I replied. 

'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'

So I wrote down:

ID10T

 I used to like Raaju, but 

 not anymore.🤔😁

News Headlines

A little girl was leaning into a lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside, all under the eyes of her screaming parents:

A biker jumps off his *Harley*, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A BBC reporter, Laura Kuenssberg, had watched the whole event.

Laura, addressing the Harley rider says. "Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life."

The Harley rider replies. "Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right."

Miss Kuenssberg. "Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a BBC journalist, you know and tomorrow's News will run this story. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?"

 The biker replies. "I'm a British Army veteran, a Conservative and I voted for Brexit."

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker turns on BBC News to see if it indeed brings news of his actions.

 

*BBC Headline*: RIGHT-WING UK VETERAN ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.

And THAT pretty much sums up the BBC's approach to the news especially  on India these days... *And that of most of Indian media*

How Does That Even Happen!

This guy was trying to head out of the city, but apparently he was meant to stay in Vegas, at least for a little bit longer than planned. 

How does this even happen? 

He's lucky that he's still alive.