Girls Proper Usage of Car

Girls really know to fully use a car and its features and accessories!

Airlines Issue Piss Warning

After a number of flyers urinating in flight on seats and in co-passengers 

Airlines have to release and display Warning,  'Pissing is Prohibited'

Airlines Issue Piss Warning

After a number of flyers urinating in flight on seats and in co-passengers 

Airlines have to release and display Warning,  'Pissing is Prohibited'

F*ck Off!

Keep f*cking off

Keep f*cking off until you get to a gate with a sign saying "You cant f*ck off past here"

An Apology from Hospital

Dear Sir,

We are pleased to inform you that the biopsy of the redness on your pen*s showed it was not cancerous 

It was lipstick.

We deeply regret the amputation.

Suicidal Husband

Wife's advice to husband ready to jump from window

Riding Positions

Your favourite positions show the "rider" you are.

The Rich ShoeShiner

*The Rich Shoeshiner*

Every morning, the CEO of a major bank in Manhattan went to the corner where a shoeshine man was always there. 

He used to sit on the chair, read the Wall Street Journal and the shoeshine man gave his shoes a shiny, great look.

One morning, the shoeshine man asks the CEO "What do you think of the stock market situation ?"

The CEO arrogantly asks him "Why are you so interested in this subject ?"

The shoeshine man replies "I have twenty million dollars deposited in your bank and I am thinking about investing part of the money in the stock market."

The CEO of the bank asks "What is your name ?"

He replies "John Smith H."

The CEO arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Major Accounts Department "Do we have a customer named John Smith H.?"

The Customer Service Manager for Major Accounts replies, We certainly do, Sir ! 

He is an extremely esteemed customer ! *He has twenty million dollars in his account ."*

The CEO leaves the bank, approaches the shoeshine Man, and says "Mr. Smith, I would like to invite you to be our guest of honor at our board meeting next Monday and tell us your life story. I'm sure we will have a lot to learn from you."

At the board meeting, the CEO introduces him to the board members "We all know Mr. Smith, who makes our shoes shine like no one else. But Mr. Smith is also our valued customer, with twenty million dollars in his account.

I invited him to tell us the story of his life. I'm sure we can learn a lot from him. Please, Mr. Smith, tell us your life story."

Then, Mr. Smith began to narrate his story "I came to this country thirty years ago as a young immigrant from Eastern Europe and with an unpronounceable name. I left the ship penniless in my pocket. 

The first thing I did was to change my name to Smith. 

I was hungry and exhausted. I started to wander in search for a job, but without success .

Suddenly, I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought some apples.

I had two options: eat the apples and quench my hunger or start a business. I sold the apples for 50 cents and bought more apples with the money. 

When I started accumulating dollars, I managed to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polishes and started cleaning shoes. 

I didn't spend a dime on fun or clothes. I only bought bread and cheese to survive. 

I saved penny by penny and after a while I bought a new set of brushes and shoe polishes in different shades and colors and increased my clientele. 

I lived like a monk and saved a penny after penny. After a while, I managed to buy a chair so that my customers could sit comfortably while I cleaned their shoes, which brought me more customers. 

I didn't spend a dime on the pleasures of life. I kept saving every penny. 

A few years ago, when the corner shoeshine colleague decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his point, which was a better place than mine.

Finally, three months ago, my brother, who was a drug dealer in Chicago, passed away and left me twenty million dollars….  

😂🤣🤣🤣

*Anyway, this is just a campaign to promote reading !*

*Reading 📱stimulates the mind and imagination and it helps communication. 😊*

Correction Advice for Men

Yoda's Wise Advice 

Don't EVER do it , if your woman asks you to correct her if she's wrong.

Bikers' Toilet

Bikers' bathroom , 

Use Clutch to flush !

Wife Arrested

Nice try wifey!

You thought you could escape from the kitchen didn't you!?