National Anthems that mention God, because you didn't know you cared until now!
Monday, August 26
In response to the invitation for a rather unusual *REUNION of all time greats:*
*Newton* said he'd drop in.
*Socrates* said he'd think about it.
*Ohm* resisted the idea.
*Boyle* said he was under too much pressure.
*Darwin* said he'd wait to see what evolved.
*Pierre and Marie Curie* radiated enthusiasm.
*Volta* was electrified at the prospect.
*Pavlov* positively drooled at the thought.
*Ampere* was worried he wasn't current enough though alternately none were.
*Edison* thought it would be illuminating.
*Einstein* said it would be relatively easy to attend.
*Archimedes* was buoyant at the thought.
*Morse* said, "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now, must dash."
*Hertz* said he planned to attend with greater frequency in the future.
*Wilbur Wright* accepted, provided he and *Orville* could get a flight.
*Aryabhatta* said there were zero chances of him showing up.
*Marconi* said, he would listen to the report on wireless.
*Pythagoras* refused because he thought that the organisers were not looking at the reunion through the right angle.
Sunday, August 25
Wednesday, August 21
Monday, August 19
When you encounter a problem, it's important to gather as much information as you can before implementing a solution. If not, the situation can turn bad quickly…
Joe had been having horrible headaches, so he went to see his doctor.
The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed, but in the end he came to the conclusion that he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. Then he saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need. A new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."
The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, "Let's see, size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit, and it fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"
Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."
Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years."
Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.
He walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"
Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."
The salesman said, "Let's see, size 36."
Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."
But the salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
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