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Thursday, January 3

Faithful Humor

Here's a tongue in cheek article a friend sent me. I hope it doesn't offend anyone but I thought it was pretty humorous because it hits close on the main emphasis of that particular Faith. 
If you don't think so, it could be your knowledge of the different Faiths covered here is either too limited or too extensive!

Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.
Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Orthodox Judaism - Our toys are the only Kosher toys.
Greek Orthodox - They were our toys first.
Messianic Judaism - No, they were OURS first.
Russian Orthodox - Our toys are the only legally correct toys.
Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
Atheism - There is no toy maker.
Polytheism - There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism - The toys made themselves from less complicated models.
Paganism - Every tree is a toy.
Church of Scientology - Toys are us.
Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.
B'Hai - All toys are just fine with us.
TM - Your toys are your just desserts.
Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
Taoism - The doll is as important as the dump truck.
Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second.
Hedonism - To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!
Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
Presbyterian - My toys were custom made for me by the Toy Maker.
Evangelical Free - Would you like to play with some of my toys?
Full Gospel - Everyone who has a toy raise your hands and shout.
7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday loses.
Heaven's Gate - There is no toy like a comet. It's to die for.
Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.
Christian Church in America - Ours are not the only toys, but they are OUR TOYS ONLY!
Disciples of Christ - When we all get to toy land, what a day of play that will be.
Baptist - Once played, always played.
The Family - Toy, joy, toy, joy, toy. The best toy is a rainbow. (I take this as a compliment! It shows the emphasis the Family puts on using music to get out the Message, the Heavenly vision and eternal non-material values.)
Separatist Baptist - He that hath a sixteenth century toy hath righteousness.
Family of God - I got toys. You got toys? All God's children got toys.
Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.
Charismaticism - Talk! Big deal. Our toys laugh and fall down!
Dutch Reformed - Toys? You mean this is supposed to be fun?
Brethren - Whatever else you do, keep your toys out of sight.
Faith Movement - If you ask for a new toy and don't get it, it is your fault.
Methodist - Now which toy do we play with this week?
Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.
Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
Episcopalian - Once a toy is sprinkled with water it wins.
United Pentecostal - Not wet enough and only our toys have the right label.
Third Wave - Our toys dance and sing the coolest songs!
Toronto Blessing - Pull our toys strings and they bark and laugh uncontrollably.
Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's all just play with them.
Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.
Unitarianism - Oh the joy of any toy, or not.
New Age - Angels are the most fashionable toys and crystal is really cool.
Abraham Forum Messianic- Your toys are syncretistic pagan idols, soaked in anti-semetic evil. My toys are rich in righteous tradition and entirely acceptable to the Toy Maker.
Abraham Forum Christian - Your toys are but ancient shadows of reality. My toys are straight from the Toymaker's workbench.
GOD - "Grow up children! Just take my son Jesus, stop playing and get to work!"

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