Wednesday, March 6

Seniors' Daily Humor

Hilarious! 🤣
1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means, "Don't spill it."
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public if I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20. Sometimes someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
(Source unknown)

Wednesday, February 14

Valentine Surprise

Surprise your girlfriend on valentine's day, by introducing her to your wife...

Message by Coffins n Cremations 

Monday, December 18

Car Security

This guy really fooled the storms and hurricanes with this Car Security idea during rain and storms.

Tuesday, August 1

Sense of Duty or Responsibility

CEO of large company was talking to his management team about the sense of responsibility...

He asked a question... "Please tell me..., to spend my life with my wife is my duty or responsibility?"

Pin drop silence in the meeting... but after a few minutes, a young officer said... "Sir, it is your duty".

Why ? asked the CEO.

Wednesday, June 28

Her Diet Plan

Her tshirt says it all when people ask her about her diet plans!!

Saturday, June 24

Wednesday, June 21

Drunks Are Most Alert Persons

Drunk men are the most alert and diligently follow road rules while crossing roads. 
They are best security of a liquor bottle.

Sunday, June 18

Columbus

Columbus, real name, Cristoforo Colombo, died in 1505 at the age of 55. He was such a monster that the king and queen of Spain refused to invite him to the kingdom after his voyage to the Americas because of how evil he was during his financed expedition. 
Word spread fast about how he and his men raped and tortured and murdered the indigenous people in the Caribbean islands. 
He became a pariah. 

Wednesday, May 3

Girls Proper Usage of Car

Girls really know to fully use a car and its features and accessories!

Latest Airlines Warning!

After a number of flyers urinating in flight seats and on co-passengers,
Airlines have to release and display Warning,  'Pissing is Prohibited'

Thursday, April 20

F*ck Off!

Keep f*cking off

Keep f*cking off until you get to a gate with a sign saying "You cant f*ck off past here"

An Apology from Hospital

Dear Sir,
We are pleased to inform you that the biopsy of the redness on your pen*s showed it was not cancerous 
It was lipstick.
We deeply regret the amputation.

Sunday, March 12

Friday, March 10

The Rich ShoeShiner

*The Rich Shoeshiner*

Every morning, the CEO of a major bank in Manhattan went to the corner where a shoeshine man was always there. 

He used to sit on the chair, read the Wall Street Journal and the shoeshine man gave his shoes a shiny, great look.

One morning, the shoeshine man asks the CEO "What do you think of the stock market situation ?"

The CEO arrogantly asks him "Why are you so interested in this subject ?"

The shoeshine man replies "I have twenty million dollars deposited in your bank and I am thinking about investing part of the money in the stock market."

Correction Advice for Men

Yoda's Wise Advice 

Friday, October 21

Wife Arrested

Nice try wifey!
You thought you could escape from the kitchen didn't you!?

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Seniors' Daily Humor