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Tuesday, December 17

Nun with her Dress

Two nuns went to shop at the market. They were taking so long so one said

- Sister Mary it is getting dark and we are so far away from the convent.
- I know Sister Rose but there is a man following us.
- Oh! What does he want.
- To rape us.
- What can we do.
- Let's separate. You go left and I will go right.
- He followed Sister Rose.
- Sister Mary reached the convent and was worried. 
- After an hour Sister Rose appeared.
- What happed?
- I started to run and so did he.
- And then?
- He caught up with me.
- Oh my God. And what did you do.
- I lifted up my dress.
- Sister! And what did he do.
- Dropped his pants.
- And then?
- Its obvious isn't it. 

- A nun with her dress lifted up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

If you thought of a different ending 
Pray 188 Hail Marys and 320 Our Fathers and ask God to clean your filthy mind. 

And Don't send this back to me as I am still praying. 😜🤣🤣

Saturday, December 14

Too Good for Santa

Santa

Friday, December 13

Thursday, December 12

Tuesday, December 10

Eat the Grass

Teacher addresses a student and asks: "How many kidneys do we have?"
"Four!", The student responds.
"Four? Haha," The teacher was one of those who took pleasure in picking on his students' mistakes and demoralizing them.
 "Bring a bundle of grass, because we have an ass in the room," the teacher orders a front bencher.
 "And for me a coffee!", the student added.
 The teacher was furious and expelled the student from the room.  
The student was, by the way, the humorist Aparicio Torelly Aporelly (1895-1971), better known as the "Baron de Itararé".
 On his way out of the classroom, the student still had the audacity to correct the furious teacher:
 "You asked me how many kidneys' we have. "  'We have four: two of mine and two of yours. 'We have' is an expression used for the plural.  Enjoy the grass". 
 Life demands much more understanding than knowledge.  Sometimes people, because they have a little more knowledge or 'believe' that they have it, feel they have the right to underestimate others.

Thursday, November 28

From the Department of Allegory: Latin Expressions

Latin, America: From Quid Pro Quo to In Flagrante Delicto to Non Compos Mentis

All Latin expressions gathered at the Taverna to discuss Quid Pro Quo's phenomenal rise in popularity thanks to impeachment hearings in the United States. A wave of resentment ran through Ad Hoc, Pro Bono, Vice Versa, Et Cetera etc., who considered themselves frontrunners in Latinism sweepstakes before Quid Pro Quo had sprinted ahead in recent weeks.

"Well, let's get real," said Bona Fide, who was always truthful. "Quid Pro Quo is being promoted by no less a person than the U.S President, even though Pro Bono is available for free." Hearing this, Pro Bono, who was selfless and always unquestioningly volunteering herself, asked Prime Facie if this was indeed the case.

"On the face of it, yes," confirmed Prima Facie. "Although the President likes Ad Hoc, Quid Pro Quo is his current favorite."

"What about me? I am always bringing up the rear… though I am used so often," complained Et Cetera.

"At least you and your comrades Nota Bena and Post Script are made of two words, unlike that useless Addendum," consoled Alter Ego, looking over his shoulder at his shadow.

"Quid Pro Quo is made of three words!" pointed out Carpe Diem, groaning, "I should have seized the moment when the poet Horace wrote me into his Odes!"

"Actually, we should have all gone to war!" yelled Casus Belli, who was always in a confrontational mood.

"We would have backed you!" shouted twins De Facto and De Jure.

"Hear! Hear!" roared Vox Populi.

Et Cetera was comforted, but he knew he could never become the favorite; he'd always be an afterthought.

"Well, fair is foul and foul is fair," explained Vice Versa, an opportunist who flip-flopped often.

"Indeed, I am sorry about our fate. If y'all want I am happy to take the blame," offered the always-apologetic Mea Culpa.

"Let's just stay rooted to the ground. Our day will come!" advised Terra Firma.

"No, let's keep on rolling and rolling and …" pressed Ad Infinitum.

"The bird walked to the toy store," said Non Sequitur.

Alma Mater, who was nourishing her children Alumnus and Alumna, watched the agitated Latinisms with Sotto Voce, who was usually quiet and spoke only occasionally in a low voice.

"Too bad everyone thinks the President has flipped for Quid Pro Quo," she whispered. "No one believes me but I've seen him canoodling with that sexy wench In Flagrante Delicto."

Suddenly they heard someone chuckling in the shadows. It was Non Compos Mentis, giggling with the knowledge that she, not In Flagrante Delicto, was the President's first love.

Wednesday, October 16