Men Will Be Men

Men trivia, when you have unlimited data but you still looking for wifi !

Car Speed Controller

Billboard on Highway -

'Go Slow! Same wife is waiting at home.'

#speed @speed #drivesafe 

True Old Friends

Friendship means....

True friends don't get offended when you insult them.

They laugh and Insult you something even better.

Friendship is...

True Friends Don't Care if your house is dirty, 

They Care if you have wine.

Stars Speak

Fck! 

While at beach under starry nite sky, 

Man points up the sky and asks his wife, "Do you also have the impression that the stars are speaking to us?"

His wife looks up and sees the bright stars making up letters in sky, says, "These are Elon Musk's satellites"

Donald's Specs Cost Money

Respect people who wear Glasses 

coz,

They Paid Money to See You.

Pun Competition

An annual Pun Competition was held by the New York Times. Here are some submissions:  

1. I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.  

2. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.  

3. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.  

4. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.  

5. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.  

6. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.  

7. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.  

8. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.  

9. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils😀

10. Dad, are we pyromaniacs?

Yes, we Arson.

11. Why is 'dark' spelt with a k and not c? 

Because you can't 'c' in the dark.

12. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? 

Well, because time will tell.

13. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it's a whole sentence.

14. I'm trying to organize a hide-n-seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

15. I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness!

Fear the Learned Reader

Fear someone who has a library and reads lot of books,

You should Fear someone who has only one book and considers it sacred but he has not READ it!

- Friedrich Nietzsche 

Job Interview

When you know absolutely nothing about the company but still go for the job interview.

Research the company before going for Job Interview. 

Being a chicken or not!!!

Election Voting

Your vote matters coz...

Signboard Language n Meaning

Colin's Wooden bridge Warning Signboard! 

"Colin's Back Passage" 

"Slippy When Wet" 

Facebook & WhatsApp 'shit' Wall

Social media postings on facebook, whatsapp, X, twitter, Instagram 

Never check your weight after Drinking

Never check your weight after drinking... 🥂🥃🍻

Weighing body clock!!

How to Approach a Bull, Horse & an Idiot

How Not to Approach a Bull, a Horse & an Idiot!

Never approach a bull from front, 

a horse from behind,

 and, 

an Idiot from any direction!

Tolerance is Dysfunction of Society

Pluto said so that Tolerance is a dysfunction of a Civilized Society. 

Weed Mubarak

Legal Weed freedom t-shirt

Clinton Mantra

Clinton, 

Call me crazy, but I think treason, sedition and insurrection should be investigated thoroughly as a blow job!

Indian Students are Disliked Abroad!

*Why Indian Students are Disliked Abroad!*

TOO GOOD!

It was the first day of school in the USA and a new Indian student named Chandra Subramanian entered the 4th grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. 

Teacher :- Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandra, who had his hand up: 

Chandra :- 'Patrick Henry, 1775,'.

'Very good! 

Teacher :- Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, 

shall not perish from the Earth?''

Again, no response except from Chandra:- 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863'.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed.

Chandra, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'

She heard a loud stage whisper: 'F**k  the Indians.'

'Who said that?' she demanded. But Chandra put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?' 

Again, Chandra says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? S**k  this!'

Chandra jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,

'Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997.'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said

'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'

Chandra frantically yells at the top of his voice, 'Michael Jackson to the child witness testifying against him in 2004.'

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're scr*w*d!!

And Chandra said quietly, 'Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008'.

😄😄

Polish Man Wants Divorce from American Wife

A Polish man married an American girl, and though his English wasn't very good, they got along very well. One day he rushes into a lawyer's office and asks him to arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer says that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asks him the following questions:

 

"Have you any grounds?" 

"Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home."

 "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?" 

"It's made of concrete."

 "I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?" 

"No, we have carport, and not need one." 

"I mean what are your relations like?" 

"All my relations still in Poland." 

"Is there any infidelity in your marriage?" 

"We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player."

 "Does your wife beat you up?" 

"No, I always up before her." 

"Why do you want this divorce?" 

"She going to kill me."

 "What makes you think that??" 

"I got proof." 

"What kind of proof?" 

"She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read English pretty good, and it say: 

POLISH REMOVER."

!!

Emergency Landing

😁

An aeroplane made an emergency landing on water.

Air hostess asked the passengers to slide down to the lifeboats, but the passengers refused.

Air hostess then asked the Captain (Pilot) to help.

The Captain being very knowledgeable and experienced, guided her : 

"You tell the Americans this is an ADVENTURE . 

Tell the British this is an HONOUR . 

Tell the French this is a ROMANTIC activity, 

Tell the Germans this is the LAW.

Tell the Japanese this is an ORDER , and everyone will be sorted out."

Air hostess asked : "Can I convince the Pakistanis?"

Captain : "Yes dear, just whisper, " This is a suicide mission."

Air hostess again asked : "And what about the Singaporeans?" 

The captain, taking a deep breath, patiently explained : "You need not tell the SIngaporeans anything, my dear. Once they see a QUEUE, they will join it without questions."

Air hostess remembered the flight had some passengers from India. 

Air hostess then asked : "What about Indians?"

The captain laughed: "Easy. Just tell the Indians this activity is FREE"

😊😜 (Satire)