Friday Beer Jokes

*Ultimate arrogance😂*

4 CEOs of  big beer companies meet for a drink. 

The president of Budweiser orders a Bud. Miller's president orders a Millers and the president of Amstel orders a Amstel. 

When it is Heineken's president  turn to order he orders a soda. 

Why didn't you order Heineken everyone asks? 

Nah, he replies. If you guys aren't having a beer neither will I !!

😜🍻

Husband's Dentist

Finally she realised why her husband had Toothache too often! 

Funny Wrestling

Wrestling fun! 

Trying to plug in the HDMI without looking behind the TV! 

Words of The Joker

In the movie, The Joker has some of the most powerful dialogues that will always be worth remembering.

1 - "I used to think that my life was a tragedy, but now I realize, it's a comedy."

2 - "My mother always tells me to smile and put on a happy face. She told me I had a purpose, to bring laughter and joy to the world."

 3 - " You're the only one that's ever been nice to me."

4 - "All I have are negative thoughts."

5 - "I thought it was going to bother me, but it really hasn't."

6 - "I just don't want to feel so bad anymore."

7 - "When you bring me out, can you introduce me as Joker?"

8 - "The worst part of having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't."

9 - "Is it just me, or is it getting crazier out there?"

10 - "Have you seen what it's like out there, Murray? Everybody just yells and screams at each other. Nobody's civil anymore! Nobody thinks what it's like to be the other guy."

11 - " I mean, don't you have to be funny to be a comedian?"

12- "For my whole life, I didn't know if I even really existed. But I do, and people are starting to notice."

13 - "I think I felt better when I was locked up in the hospital."

14 - "Everybody is awful these days. It's enough to make anyone crazy. If it was me dying on the sidewalk, you'd walk right over me. I pass you everyday and you don't notice me!"

15 - "I know it seems strange, I don't meant make you uncomfortable, I don't know why everyone is so rude, I don't know why you are; I don't want anything from you. Maybe a little warmth, maybe a hug dad, may be a bit of common decency!"

Clever or Demeaning Advertising

Is it the cleverest advertising for travel to Agra, India to see Taj Mahal?

Pawn Shop

When there are too many genders 

and ,

You want to be clear ....

- Dick Owner 

Vaccinated T-shirt

Cool Vaccine Women Tshirt,

Vaxxed

Waxed

And Ready 

To Climax

Football & Brazil

Funny Brazilian football 

Learner Devil

When women decide to take revenge, 

Even the Devil sits to learn!

English Vagaries

Vagaries of English Language! Enjoy!!!😀😀😀

- Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?

-Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?

- How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?

- If money doesn't grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?

- If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

- How do you get off a non-stop Flight?

- Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?

- Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?

- Why do doctors 'practice' medicine? Are they having practice at the cost of the patients?

- Why is it called 'Rush Hour' when traffic moves at its slowest then?

- How come Noses run and Feet smell?

- Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?

- What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?

We can never find the answers, can we?

So just enjoy the pun and fun of the English language!!

Liberal Leftists' Rightist Son

I asked my friend's son what he wanted to be when he grows up. He said he wanted to be Prime Minister some day.

Both of his parents, LIBERAL LEFTISTS, were standing there, so I asked him, 'If you were Prime Minister, what would be the first thing you would do?'

He replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' His parents beamed with pride.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told him. 'But you don't have to wait until you're Prime Minister to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you Rs.500. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the same 500 rupee note for food and new set of clothes .'

He thought that over for a few seconds, then he looked me straight in the eyes and asked, ' Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him Rs.500?'

I said, 'Welcome to the RIGHTIST fold.'

His parents still aren't speaking to me.

(Author Unknown)

Dedicated to all those who think distributing freebies is kindness.