Wednesday, September 23

Saturday, August 29

Topless Model

Admit it.
You've always been Crazy about topless models.

Thursday, August 27

Friday, August 21

Senior Citizens Facts

*How God keeps senior citizens going*

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom, He made seniors lose co-ordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

 Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise.  God looked down and saw that it was good.

 So, if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older

 #9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

 #8 - Life is sexually transmitted.

 #7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

 #6 - Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

 #5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

 #4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

 #3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

 #2 - In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

 #1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeño peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow. 

 Please share this wisdom with others, while I go to the bathroom


Wednesday, August 19

Curiosity Bug

Just for the sake of curiosity...

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, dog trainers debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Tuesday, August 18

3 Puns of 2020

*Puns of 2020* 

•If you see me leaving this group, please add me again. It's just that I'm so desperate to go out!

•Quarantine seems like a Netflix series: just when you think it's over, they release the next season.

•I need to social distance myself from my fridge; I tested positive for excess weight!

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