Tuesday, June 22

Late for Appointment at Gynecologist

A gynecologist waits on his last patient, who does not arrive.

After an hour, he makes a gin and tonic to relax.  After he settles into an armchair to read the newspaper, he hears the doorbell ring.

It's the patient, who arrives all embarrassed and apologizes for the delay.

"It doesn't matter," answers the doctor.  "Look, I was having a gin and tonic while waiting. Do you want one to help you relax?"

"I accept, thanks!" She answers.  

He gives her a drink, sits down in front of her and they start talking. Suddenly someone is heard opening the entrance office door.

The doctor looks worried, gets up and says: 
"My wife! Quick, take off your clothes and spread your legs, otherwise she might think there is some nonsense going on!"

😋😂😉😀

Monday, June 21

Today's School

They Said No Phone Inside the School
Today School is Inside the Phone

Dad for Life

No recall vote for Impeachment, 
Father's constitution is written for Life (with help from mother) 
;-)

Saturday, June 19

Friday, June 18

New Boyfriend's Jet

My Ex was over the cloud with the new Man in her life.
"He said he had a Private Jet"

Tuesday, June 15

Ecstasy

Back and forth. . . in and out. . .in and out . . .a little to the right. . . a little to the left . . . she could feel the sweat on her forehead . . . between her breasts. . .
and, trickling down the small of her back. . . she was getting near to the end.

He was in ecstasy. . .
with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved. . .
forwards then backwards. . .
forward then backward. . .
again. . .
and again. . .
her heart was pounding now. . .
her face was flushed . . .
she moaned softly at first, then began to groan louder . . .
finally . . .
totally exhausted . . .
she let out a piercing scream . . . . .

"OK, OK, you smug bastard, I can't parallel park.  You do it!"

Thursday, June 10

Monday, June 7

Wednesday, May 26

ID ten T Error

As we oldies know, sometimes we have  trouble with our computers. 

Yesterday, I had a problem, so I called Raaju, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.

Raaju clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?

He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' 

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

Raaju grinned, 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?' 

'No,' I replied. 

'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'

So I wrote down:
ID10T

 I used to like Raaju, but 
 not anymore.🤔😁

Thursday, May 20

News Headlines

A little girl was leaning into a lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside, all under the eyes of her screaming parents:

A biker jumps off his *Harley*, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A BBC reporter, Laura Kuenssberg, had watched the whole event.

Laura, addressing the Harley rider says. "Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life."

The Harley rider replies. "Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right."

Miss Kuenssberg. "Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a BBC journalist, you know and tomorrow's News will run this story. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?"

 The biker replies. "I'm a British Army veteran, a Conservative and I voted for Brexit."

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker turns on BBC News to see if it indeed brings news of his actions.
 
*BBC Headline*: RIGHT-WING UK VETERAN ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.

And THAT pretty much sums up the BBC's approach to the news especially  on India these days... *And that of most of Indian media*

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