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Tuesday, July 16

Cricket World Cup 2019

In this Cricket World Cup we have witnessed:

1. Two Days of a "One Day" match between India and NZ
2. A Six in the final that went rolling on the ground
3. NZ losing the final by "ZERO RUNS" and "ZERO WICKETS"
4. An Irishman lifting the World Cup for England
5. A final decided by a weird rule and bad umpiring
6. First time ever in cricket a team never won a match by runs or wickets but by a rule

Congrats ICC for a great comedy show in the guise of an international cricket competition!

Monday, July 15

Largest Market for Tennis Balls and Rackets!

With due respect and fan following of The two Great Players depicted. :-)

Wednesday, July 3

Tuesday, July 2

Go and Went

Mr. Go and Mr. Went had a date to see a ball game, so, Go knew Went wanted to go, but it depended upon when Went went so Go went to Went to get Went to go but Went told Go to go so Go went. 

After Go went, Went went after Go to tell Go to go not knowing Go went to phone Went not to go when Went went to tell Go to go, and when Go went to let Went know Go wanted Went not to go is not known and that's why Go went without Went and Went went without Go.

Cardio Exercise or Vegan

Dr. Patxi Ulibarri is the Medical Director of a Bilbao Hospital in Bizkaia Spain.

This is the extract of an interview on local TV, where he was asked about food and sports issues ...

*Here it goes...*
 
Question: Cardiovascular exercises prolong life ... Is it true?
*Answer: Your heart was made to beat a certain number of times and go ... Do not waste those beats in exercises ... Eventually, everything is spent. Accelerating your heart will not make you live longer: That's like saying that you can prolong the life of your car by driving faster. Do you want to live longer? Take a nap.*
  
Q: Should I stop eating red meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
*A: You need to understand the logistics of efficiency. What does the Lamb eat? Grass, fodder and legumes. What are those things? Vegetables! Then a barbecue or a barbecue is nothing more than an effective mechanism to place vegetables in your system. Do you need grains? Eat chicken!*
  
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol consumption?
*A: No way. Wine is made of fruit. Brandy is a distilled wine, which means that they take the water out of the fruit and thus one takes advantage of it better. Beer is also made from grains ... Get drunk*

Q: What are the advantages of a regular exercise program?
*A: My philosophy is: If nothing hurts you, you're fine and you do not have to do anything.*
 
Q: Are fried foods harmful?
*A: YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME !! Today the food is fried in vegetable oil. These foods are literally impregnated with "vegetable" oil ... How can something vegetable be harmful to your health?*

Q: Do push-ups help reduce fat?
*A: Absolutely NO! Exercising a muscle only causes it to increase in size.*

 Q: Does chocolate do badly?
*A: Are you crazy? Cocoa, another vegetable! It is a very good meal to be happy.*

AND REMEMBER:
*Life should not be a trip to the grave, with the intention of getting there safe and sound with an attractive body and well preserved ... Better to exceed: Beer in one hand, appetizer in the other, much sex and a body totally spent, completely used and screaming: It was worth it !! WHAT TRIP!!!*

- If walking was healthy, the postman would be immortal.
- The whale swims all day, only eats fish, only takes water ... and is fat !!
- The rabbit eats well, runs, jumps and lives only 15 years.
- The turtle does not run or do anything ... *And lives 450 years!*

 If you can not find half of your orange, do not be discouraged ... Look for half a lemon, add rum, ice, coke, and ...
*Be Happy*

*Enjoy your Life !!!*

👏👏👏👏👏👏

Saturday, June 29

The Best 'Player' on Grass?

Roger Federer is Best on Grass 
but next to Bob Marley! :-)

Who the Best on Grass?

Roger Federer is Best on Grass 
but next to Bob Marley! :-)

Thursday, June 27

Captain Jack Sparrows's Quest for...

Captain Jack Sparrows, "How much for this gorgeous apartment?"
The Store Manager, answers ....

Wednesday, June 12

Truism

Truisms !

1.Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

2. I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget it the computer will say, "Your password is incorrect."

3.Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

4.I'm great at multi-tasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

5.If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

6.Doesn't expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?

7.Take my advice — I'm not using it.

8.Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.

9.Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

10. I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.

11.Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.

12.If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

13.A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

14.Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

15.When I married Ms. Right, I had no idea her first name was Always.

16.My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver's test. The other two guys managed to jump out of her way.

17.There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm still looking.

18.Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

19.Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

20.He who laughs last thinks slowest.

21.Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

22.Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.

23.I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

24.Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25.The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don't have to mow it.

Take it in a Lighter Vein! 😂😂😂

Monday, June 10

French Open Champion

Rafael nadal was French open champion in 2005.
Since then, we completed internship, did specialization, some did super specialization, got married, had kids, struggled in private practice /corporate set up, managed to get a decent earning, gained weight, greyed hair, achieved prediabetic and mild hypertensive status, and are close to hitting middle age. 

This is 2019 and Rafa is still the French open champ.

Some people will never progress in this life!

😃🤓

Saturday, June 8

Friday, June 7

Britain's Unwelcome White Lesson

Now the British may know what it's like to have an unwelcome white visitor ! 

Friday, May 31

Boy Rejects Girls' Rainy Offer

Boy with morals or did he reject her offer on seeing her legs!!?

Drunken at Heaven's Gates

A Lady was conducting her anti drinking campaign outside a bar. A man came out of the Bar exuding alcohol fumes.

The Lady said - "Tell me!!!  If you arrive at the Gates of Heaven with your breath smelling of liquor... Do you think the Lord will let you in ???"

"My good woman" passionately holding her hand, said the man, "When I go to Heaven I expect to leave my breath behind."

*Moral* 
Drinkers are practical people. 
Kindly Respect them!!

Thursday, May 30

Legends of Football


Legendary Football misses!

Finest Irish Death Wish

An old Irish wish, When I die, will you pour the finest bottle of Irish whiskey on my grave? 

Friend's bladderful reply,....

Tuesday, May 28

Friday, May 24

Messy Sunder

Messy and Sunder (beautiful) people in one pic!

Quantum Physics and Spirituality

Quantum Physics and Spirituality ✨

7 things that affect your vibrational frequency from the point of view of physics.
Vibration in quantum physics means that everything is energy. Any feeling causes you to emit a vibration that can be positive or negative.

1st - *The Thoughts*.
Every thought you have emits a frequency to the Universe, and that frequency returns to the origin, in this case you! So if you have negative thoughts and sadness this will all come back to you. That is why it is so important that you take care of the quality of your thoughts and learn to cultivate more positive thoughts.

2nd - *The Companies*.
People around you have a direct influence on your frequency. If you stand beside cheerful people, you too will enter into this vibration, now if you surround yourself with complaining and pessimistic people, be careful! For they may be lowering their vibrational frequency.

3th - *The Songs*.
Songs are very powerful. Pay attention to the lyrics of the songs you listen to and remember: you attract into your life exactly what you vibrate.

4th - *Things You Watch*.
When you watch programs that address misfortune. Your brain accepts it as a reality and releases all the chemistry in your body, causing your vibrational frequency to be affected. Watch things that do you good.

5th - *The Environment*. Whether at home or at work, if you spend a lot of your time in a messy, dirty environment, it will also affect your frequency. Improve what is around you.
Show the Universe that you are fit to receive much more. Take care of what you already have!

6th - *The Speech*.
If you complain or speak badly about things and people, that also affects you. Eliminate the habit of complaining and speaking ill of others. Take Responsibility for the Choices of Your Life.

7th - *Gratitude*.
Gratitude positively affects your frequency, this is a habit you should incorporate right now into your life. Start to thank for everything. Gratitude opens the door for good things to flow positively into your life.

Thursday, May 23

Butt picture is Safe to see

Believe me the picture is correct and safe to view!

Tuesday, May 21

Friday, May 10

Awesome Bodyart

Johannes Stotter displays his art on Live models as his canvas of beautiful artistic strokes.

Wednesday, May 8

Oxymorons

Oxymorons
 
An oxymoron is a phrase comprised of two words that seem to contradict one another. They are more prevalent in writing than one would imagine. Just check out these examples of...
 
Oxymorons:
 
Extinct Life
Plastic glasses
Terribly pleased
Computer security
Political science
Tight slacks
Definite maybe
Pretty ugly
Rap music
Working vacation
Microsoft Works

Monday, May 6

Brilliant PR study material

Anybody wanting to get into the PR business must study this. As Brilliant as it is hilarious!! -

No matter which side of the AISLE you're on, THIS is FUNNY! 

Judy Wallman Trump, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California, was doing some personal work on her own family tree.  She discovered that President Donald Trump's great, great uncle, Remus Trump, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.  Both Judy and President Trump share this common ancestor.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows  in Montana territory.  On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription: "Remus Trump, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889."

So Judy recently e-mailed the President for information about their great, great uncle, Remus.

Believe it or not, President Trump's staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:

"Remus Trump was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad.  Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."

Now THAT is how it's done, Folks!

Saturday, May 4

Kids' Lamborghini

Such a joy to see children playfully jump over this car! ;-)

Monday, April 15

Hindi to English Translation

पेपर मेँ पूछा गया कि

*सन्तोष आम खाता है*
इस वाक्य को अंग्रेज़ी में लिखो 

अंग्रेज़ी की भी आत्मा काँप गई जब
जवाब में किसी ने लिखा 

*satisfaction is a general account.*

🤔🤔😄

Colonialism is....

Colonialism is ..
..
Never having to say Sorry !(sic)

Friday, April 5

Sin or Deed

"Father, yesterday I beat up a politician.."

Saturday, March 30

Free Rental

🐜An ant knocked on the door of a house.

The house owner opened the door.

"I want a place to stay," said the ant.

"I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost," said the owner.

The ant went inside and occupied the vacant room.

After some days, the ant brought in another ant 🐜and requested the
owner, "Can you please allow this ant to stay with me?"

"Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent," said the owner.

After some days the ant brought a 3rd 🐜ant and requested the owner
to allow it to stay with them.

The owner agreed to it without asking for any rent.

This went on as the 🐜ant brought in more and more ants and the owner agreed to let them stay without any rent.

One fine day, the ant brought in the  *10th* ant 🐜and requested the owner
to allow it to stay with them all.

The owner said, 
"OK, you can all stay here but now you all need to pay rent."

*Now the question is:*

Why did the owner ask for rent when the 10th ant came in?
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🤔
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🤔
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🤔
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..

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🤔
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🤔
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Because they were now *tenants!*
🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜🐜

PS: I am also looking for the guy who sent me this!

Friday, March 29

3D Charcoal Trick Art

Amazing charcoal art with three dimensional effects!

Tuesday, March 26

Chinese Medicine for Terrorism

Talking to Alexa

Americans : Alexa, where's my key?

English : Alexa, set alarm.

Indians : Alexa say, "Kaccha papad, Pakka Papad" 10 times.

Sunday, March 17

Pig Bites Girl on Beach

A groups of pigs chase this girl on beach. She shows her bum with pig bites.

Friday, March 15

Tuesday, March 12

60 seconds of Web

Look what happens in each 60 seconds on the Internet 

Monday, March 11

Propaganda Forwarders

Who are forwarders of propaganda materials on social media ?

Saturday, February 9

Deadly Combination

Good sense of humour,
Dirty mind,
and 
Beautiful Heart 
Make a Deadly Combination

Thursday, February 7

Valentine Motivations

The Valentine Week starts tomorrow !! 

So ...

HOW'S THE JOSH ??

Married Sir

 ðŸ¤•ðŸ¤




Msg from Schools, Colleges & Institutes 

Dear Parents, 
We don't have any extra classes on 14th February. 

Regards
🤣🤣🤣

Stop.Done. (Motivational quote!)

Motivational Sunny Quote.
when to stop?

Wednesday, January 30

Experts of Climate Change

1500 flights burning fuel to Davos to lecture on Climate Change (sic)

Thursday, January 10

Story: Island of Retirement

Story time: One day a man decided to retire...

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and
proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my fishing boat sank." "Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this ole thing?" explains the woman. " I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from an Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the
woman. " On the south side of the island, a very
unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in a volcanic vent I found just down island, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says "and I'll give you a tour." So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small hand built wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an
expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, It's not much, but I call it home.

Please sit down." "Would you like a drink?"

"No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"Oh, it's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Jack Daniels neat?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."

No longer questioning anything, the man goes
upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but a bandana around her blonde locks and some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned. She smelled faintly of coconut oil. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering
closer to him, "We've both been out here for many
months. You must have been lonely. When was the last time you had a really good ride?"

She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing.

"You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,

"You've built a Motorcycle too ?"🤣

Tuesday, January 8

Typical Conference Calls In Corporates

Typical Conf. Calls In Corporates:
Caller1: Hi, this is George from Sales.
*Silence* All waiting others to Join
Caller2: Hi, this is Malvin from Marketing.

Sunday, January 6

Dog's life quote

Quote by Ann Landers....

If you can start the day without caffeine,
 if you can get going without pep pills,
 if you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, 
if you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
 if you can conquer tension without medical help,
 if you can relax without liquor, 
if you can sleep without the aid of drugs, 
if you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, or politics . . . . . 
… 
.
.
.
.
Then you are almost as good as your dog.
😎🐶

Thursday, January 3

Faithful Humor

Here's a tongue in cheek article a friend sent me. I hope it doesn't offend anyone but I thought it was pretty humorous because it hits close on the main emphasis of that particular Faith. 
If you don't think so, it could be your knowledge of the different Faiths covered here is either too limited or too extensive!

Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.
Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Orthodox Judaism - Our toys are the only Kosher toys.
Greek Orthodox - They were our toys first.
Messianic Judaism - No, they were OURS first.
Russian Orthodox - Our toys are the only legally correct toys.
Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
Atheism - There is no toy maker.
Polytheism - There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism - The toys made themselves from less complicated models.
Paganism - Every tree is a toy.
Church of Scientology - Toys are us.
Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.
B'Hai - All toys are just fine with us.
TM - Your toys are your just desserts.
Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
Taoism - The doll is as important as the dump truck.
Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second.
Hedonism - To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!
Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
Presbyterian - My toys were custom made for me by the Toy Maker.
Evangelical Free - Would you like to play with some of my toys?
Full Gospel - Everyone who has a toy raise your hands and shout.
7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday loses.
Heaven's Gate - There is no toy like a comet. It's to die for.
Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.
Christian Church in America - Ours are not the only toys, but they are OUR TOYS ONLY!
Disciples of Christ - When we all get to toy land, what a day of play that will be.
Baptist - Once played, always played.
The Family - Toy, joy, toy, joy, toy. The best toy is a rainbow. (I take this as a compliment! It shows the emphasis the Family puts on using music to get out the Message, the Heavenly vision and eternal non-material values.)
Separatist Baptist - He that hath a sixteenth century toy hath righteousness.
Family of God - I got toys. You got toys? All God's children got toys.
Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.
Charismaticism - Talk! Big deal. Our toys laugh and fall down!
Dutch Reformed - Toys? You mean this is supposed to be fun?
Brethren - Whatever else you do, keep your toys out of sight.
Faith Movement - If you ask for a new toy and don't get it, it is your fault.
Methodist - Now which toy do we play with this week?
Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.
Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
Episcopalian - Once a toy is sprinkled with water it wins.
United Pentecostal - Not wet enough and only our toys have the right label.
Third Wave - Our toys dance and sing the coolest songs!
Toronto Blessing - Pull our toys strings and they bark and laugh uncontrollably.
Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's all just play with them.
Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.
Unitarianism - Oh the joy of any toy, or not.
New Age - Angels are the most fashionable toys and crystal is really cool.
Abraham Forum Messianic- Your toys are syncretistic pagan idols, soaked in anti-semetic evil. My toys are rich in righteous tradition and entirely acceptable to the Toy Maker.
Abraham Forum Christian - Your toys are but ancient shadows of reality. My toys are straight from the Toymaker's workbench.
GOD - "Grow up children! Just take my son Jesus, stop playing and get to work!"