Pages

Tuesday, November 5

Going to Sleep?

C for sleep!!

Wednesday, October 16

Water logging in cities of Bihar

Water logging in dry state!!

Tuesday, October 8

Collateral Security

Soon to be reality in your country?
 
An Illiterate Tribal went to a Bank for a Loan of 2,00,000/- to buy Buffaloes. 

The Branch Manager asked what Collateral Security will he offer. 

Since the Tribal didn't Understand the Concept, the Branch Manager explained in detail about Collateral Security. 

The tribal kept his house as Collateral and the Loan was sanctioned for 2,00,000/- @ 9% interest for 5 Years. 

In 6 months the Tribal repaid the entire Loan. The Branch Manager was very happy and asked him what he was doing with the excess Money in the hope of Getting his Deposits target fulfilled. 

The Tribal said he kept it in his house locker. 

The Manager then pitched for his Fixed deposit saying that the Bank will give 7% interest and that his Money will Grow. 

Now Came the interesting Part 

The Tribal asked him
.
.
.
.
.
.

"What Collateral Security will Your Bank offer Me to keep my Money in Bank? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

The question needs to be asked now, only with the intention of safeguarding our own Money.

The best message received recently. Worth Sharing!!!

Hair style for trip to Rome!

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.. You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Aer lingus" was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Aer Lingus?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to me .

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Aer Lingus's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to Premier Class. The food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a multi million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican , a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"

He said: "Who f*cked up your hair?" ๐Ÿ˜‚

Thursday, September 26

No Alcohol

Never drink alcohol,


Without Snacks
;-)

Kashi, India

*A foreigner came to Kashi.* 

*Visited Kashi's Lord Viswanath temple and all the ghats.*

*Then he bought a VIBHUTHI packet from a boy selling on the street.* 
*Foreigner then asked, "What is its expiry date?"*

*Boy replied looking surprised, "Its made from expired people and when you apply on your forehead it increases your expiry date."*

๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜„ Incredible India

Tuesday, September 24

Coffee at Starbucks

A guy was "drinking coffee" at Starbucks. He had no iPhone, no tablet, no laptop!! 

Monday, September 23

Vagaries of English Language!

Vagaries of English Language! 
Enjoy!!!๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

- Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?

-Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?

- How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?

- If money doesn't grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?

- If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

- How do you get off a non-stop Flight?

- Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?

- Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?

- Why do doctors 'practice' medicine? Are they having practice at the cost of the patients?

- Why is it called 'Rush Hour' when traffic moves at its slowest then?

- How come Noses run and Feet smell?

- Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?

- What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?

We can never find the answers, can we?

So just enjoy the pun and fun of the English language!!

Thursday, September 19

Why Indian Students are Disliked Abroad?

*Why Indian Students are Disliked Abroad!*
TOO GOOD!

It was the first day of school in the USA and a new Indian student named Chandra Subramanian entered the 4th grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. 

Teacher :- Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandra, who had his hand up: 

Chandra :- 'Patrick Henry, 1775,'.

'Very good! 

Teacher :- Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, 
shall not perish from the Earth?''

Again, no response except from Chandra:- 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863'.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed.
Chandra, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'

She heard a loud stage whisper: 'Fuck the Indians.'

'Who said that?' she demanded. But Chandra put his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?' 

Again, Chandra says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Chandra jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,
'Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997.'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said
'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'

Chandra frantically yells at the top of his voice, 'Michael Jackson to the child witness testifying against him in 2004.'

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!' 

And Chandra said quietly, 'Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008'.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘

Monday, September 16

World Marriage Day

Today is 'World Marriage Day'.
Let us keep 2 minutes' silence and read some quotes of fellow-sufferers.

A few interesting
*GLOBAL OPINIONS ABOUT MARRIAGE* :

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin, they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
– Al Gore ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
– Socrates ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Women inspire us to great things, and prevent us from achieving them.
– Mike Tyson ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs ๐Ÿ“„with me.
– Bill Clinton ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
– Michael Jordan ๐Ÿ˜œ

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
– Barack Obama๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ

When you are in love,
Wonders happen.
But once you get married,
You wonder, what happened.
๐Ÿ˜œ

๐ŸAnd the best one …

"Marriage is a beautiful forest where Brave Lions are killed by beautiful Deer".๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ

Have a wonderful day !!

Friday, September 13

3 Fkucing Laws of Management

*3 Fucking Laws of Management


If you learn them, no one can beat you in Corporate Management, but unfortunately even Harvard Business School do not teach them...*๐Ÿค”!

1. *Fucking Law of Delivery Time -* No matter how hard and fast you fuck, the child comes after 9 months.
*Moral -* Pressurizing does not alter delivery period.

2. *Fucking Law of Direction -* Even though both holes  are nearby, if by a wrong shot, you enter the wrong hole, no matter how hard you fuck, you never get a child.
*Moral -* Right direction and focus is very important to get the results, even few centimeters away from right direction, even if it gives satisfaction, cannot lead to results.

3. *Fucking Law of Human Resources -* By appointing 4 men to fuck 1 woman, you cannot get 4 children, but if you appoint one man to fuck  4 women, you can get 4 children.
*Moral -* Appoint the right person at the right position. Otherwise you would keep on wondering, why you are not getting the results even after appointing more men. And appoint more women.๐Ÿ˜‰       


```This is why sex education is necessary and should be a part of
 *National Skills Development Program!*
๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜Ž

Monday, September 9

Slender Arms Shaker

Give your slender Arms the Shake to Perfection.

Monday, September 2

Effect of Social Media Career

Career of a Netflix, Prime Video, Hotstar, WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram user

Monday, August 26

National Anthems that mention God

National Anthems that mention God, because you didn't know you cared until now! 

Kids' Car Safety - Now and then

Car Safety - Now for our children and then when we were kids

Reunion Of All Time Greats

In response to the invitation for a rather unusual *REUNION of all time greats:*

*Newton* said he'd drop in.

*Socrates* said he'd think about it.

*Ohm* resisted the idea.

*Boyle* said he was under too much pressure.

*Darwin* said he'd wait to see what evolved.

*Pierre and Marie Curie* radiated enthusiasm.

*Volta* was electrified at the prospect.

*Pavlov* positively drooled at the thought.

*Ampere* was worried he wasn't current enough though alternately none were.

*Edison* thought it would be illuminating.

*Einstein* said it would be relatively easy to attend.

*Archimedes* was buoyant at the thought.

*Morse* said, "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now, must dash."

*Hertz* said he planned to attend with greater frequency in the future.

*Wilbur Wright* accepted, provided he and *Orville* could get a flight.

*Aryabhatta* said there were zero chances of him showing up.

*Marconi* said, he would listen to the report on wireless.

*Pythagoras* refused because he thought that the organisers were not looking at the reunion through the  right angle.

Sunday, August 25

Buzzword Writing Method

Techno vocabulary to impress your boss/clients
Select three digits and use the corresponding buzzword, 4-8-7 Synchronised Third-generation Capability

Wednesday, August 21

Monday, August 19

Knifey Cure for Headaches

When you encounter a problem, it's important to gather as much information as you can before implementing a solution. If not, the situation can turn bad quickly…

Joe had been having horrible headaches, so he went to see his doctor.

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed, but in the end he came to the conclusion that he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. Then he saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need. A new suit."

He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, "Let's see, size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit, and it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years."

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

He walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see, size 36."

Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

But the salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

Wednesday, July 31

My Husband Not At Home

Some days ago, I came to know a  girl on the Internet. Beautiful...

After some chat, I felt that we had connected at a deeper level.

Yesterday, she asked me to visit her house and said, "My husband is on a business trip, and I'm alone at home."

I was very cautious and asked, "Will your husband suddenly come back?

She said, "No, but just in case he does, you just say that you are from Cleaning Co. and that your company sent you to clean the house. And then, clean the glass or something." "Anyway, the Pongal festival is coming. My husband won't suspect a thing."

Fast forward, I was at her house. And what a big coincidence - Not even minutes in the house, her husband came back! 

I had to be quiet and pretend to do the cleaning, wiping windows, cleaning the kitchen and the floor. And also tidy the bedrooms and wash the bathrooms. All the while, her husband and her was next to me giving all kinds of ridiculous instructions.

When I had finished and was about to leave, her husband asked, "How much?"

Even before I could utter a word, she said, "I have already paid the company." 

On the way home, I kept thinking about the whole saga. The more I thought about it, the more I felt DAMN cheated ๐Ÿ˜ฐ...

Cleaners are hard to find, beware of the new scam! 
๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Sunday, July 28

Ingredients of Beer

Cyclists

Hilarious but true too ๐Ÿ˜„

CEO of a Bank got economists thinking when he said :

A cyclist๐Ÿšด๐Ÿผ is a disaster for the country's economy

- He does not buy the car & does not take car loan

- Does not buy car insurance

- Does not buy Fuel

- Does not send his car for servicing & repairs

- Does not use paid Parking

- Does not become Obese

- Yes,.....and well, damn it !!  Healthy people are not needed for economy. They do not buy drugs. They do not go to Hospitals & Doctors.

They add nothing to country's GDP.

On the contrary, every new McDonald outlet creates at least 30 jobs - 10 Cardiologists, 10 Dentists, 10 weight loss experts apart from people working in McDonald outlet.

Choose wisely:
A Cyclist or a McDonald ?
 
Worth thinking. ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

Tuesday, July 23

Friday, July 19

Friends' Advise for Married Happiness!

After the death of his wife an elderly man married a young woman .. 

Now he was spending less time with his friends. His concerned friends enquired if there was a problem.

"I'm to pass time with you but my poor wife gets lonely when I'm away." 

Friends advised him to keep a young tenant at home, your wife will be happy in the company of a younger person.

The elderly man promptly acted on their advise and leased a room in house to a young tenant.

The friends were meeting more often. One day the friends jokingly asked, "How is your wife now?" 

She is not lonely at all, in fact she is happy and *"She is pregnant"*



The friends laughed, as they expected this. "How is the tenant?" they asked.





The man replied very soberly 
*"She is also pregnant* .." 

Never underestimate the *Power of - Senior Citizen* 
๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿฅƒ๐Ÿฅƒ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ’ƒ

Tuesday, July 16

Cricket World Cup 2019

In this Cricket World Cup we have witnessed:

1. Two Days of a "One Day" match between India and NZ
2. A Six in the final that went rolling on the ground
3. NZ losing the final by "ZERO RUNS" and "ZERO WICKETS"
4. An Irishman lifting the World Cup for England
5. A final decided by a weird rule and bad umpiring
6. First time ever in cricket a team never won a match by runs or wickets but by a rule

Congrats ICC for a great comedy show in the guise of an international cricket competition!

Monday, July 15

Largest Market for Tennis Balls and Rackets!

With due respect and fan following of The two Great Players depicted. :-)

Wednesday, July 3

Tuesday, July 2

Go and Went

Mr. Go and Mr. Went had a date to see a ball game, so, Go knew Went wanted to go, but it depended upon when Went went so Go went to Went to get Went to go but Went told Go to go so Go went. 

After Go went, Went went after Go to tell Go to go not knowing Go went to phone Went not to go when Went went to tell Go to go, and when Go went to let Went know Go wanted Went not to go is not known and that's why Go went without Went and Went went without Go.

Cardio Exercise or Vegan

Dr. Patxi Ulibarri is the Medical Director of a Bilbao Hospital in Bizkaia Spain.

This is the extract of an interview on local TV, where he was asked about food and sports issues ...

*Here it goes...*
 
Question: Cardiovascular exercises prolong life ... Is it true?
*Answer: Your heart was made to beat a certain number of times and go ... Do not waste those beats in exercises ... Eventually, everything is spent. Accelerating your heart will not make you live longer: That's like saying that you can prolong the life of your car by driving faster. Do you want to live longer? Take a nap.*
  
Q: Should I stop eating red meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
*A: You need to understand the logistics of efficiency. What does the Lamb eat? Grass, fodder and legumes. What are those things? Vegetables! Then a barbecue or a barbecue is nothing more than an effective mechanism to place vegetables in your system. Do you need grains? Eat chicken!*
  
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol consumption?
*A: No way. Wine is made of fruit. Brandy is a distilled wine, which means that they take the water out of the fruit and thus one takes advantage of it better. Beer is also made from grains ... Get drunk*

Q: What are the advantages of a regular exercise program?
*A: My philosophy is: If nothing hurts you, you're fine and you do not have to do anything.*
 
Q: Are fried foods harmful?
*A: YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME !! Today the food is fried in vegetable oil. These foods are literally impregnated with "vegetable" oil ... How can something vegetable be harmful to your health?*

Q: Do push-ups help reduce fat?
*A: Absolutely NO! Exercising a muscle only causes it to increase in size.*

 Q: Does chocolate do badly?
*A: Are you crazy? Cocoa, another vegetable! It is a very good meal to be happy.*

AND REMEMBER:
*Life should not be a trip to the grave, with the intention of getting there safe and sound with an attractive body and well preserved ... Better to exceed: Beer in one hand, appetizer in the other, much sex and a body totally spent, completely used and screaming: It was worth it !! WHAT TRIP!!!*

- If walking was healthy, the postman would be immortal.
- The whale swims all day, only eats fish, only takes water ... and is fat !!
- The rabbit eats well, runs, jumps and lives only 15 years.
- The turtle does not run or do anything ... *And lives 450 years!*

 If you can not find half of your orange, do not be discouraged ... Look for half a lemon, add rum, ice, coke, and ...
*Be Happy*

*Enjoy your Life !!!*

๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

Saturday, June 29

The Best 'Player' on Grass?

Roger Federer is Best on Grass 
but next to Bob Marley! :-)

Who the Best on Grass?

Roger Federer is Best on Grass 
but next to Bob Marley! :-)

Thursday, June 27

Captain Jack Sparrows's Quest for...

Captain Jack Sparrows, "How much for this gorgeous apartment?"
The Store Manager, answers ....

Wednesday, June 12

Truism

Truisms !

1.Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

2. I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget it the computer will say, "Your password is incorrect."

3.Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

4.I'm great at multi-tasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

5.If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

6.Doesn't expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?

7.Take my advice — I'm not using it.

8.Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.

9.Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

10. I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.

11.Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.

12.If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

13.A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

14.Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

15.When I married Ms. Right, I had no idea her first name was Always.

16.My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver's test. The other two guys managed to jump out of her way.

17.There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm still looking.

18.Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

19.Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

20.He who laughs last thinks slowest.

21.Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

22.Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.

23.I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

24.Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25.The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don't have to mow it.

Take it in a Lighter Vein! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Monday, June 10

French Open Champion

Rafael nadal was French open champion in 2005.
Since then, we completed internship, did specialization, some did super specialization, got married, had kids, struggled in private practice /corporate set up, managed to get a decent earning, gained weight, greyed hair, achieved prediabetic and mild hypertensive status, and are close to hitting middle age. 

This is 2019 and Rafa is still the French open champ.

Some people will never progress in this life!

๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿค“

Saturday, June 8

Friday, June 7

Britain's Unwelcome White Lesson

Now the British may know what it's like to have an unwelcome white visitor ! 

Friday, May 31

Boy Rejects Girls' Rainy Offer

Boy with morals or did he reject her offer on seeing her legs!!?

Drunken at Heaven's Gates

A Lady was conducting her anti drinking campaign outside a bar. A man came out of the Bar exuding alcohol fumes.

The Lady said - "Tell me!!!  If you arrive at the Gates of Heaven with your breath smelling of liquor... Do you think the Lord will let you in ???"

"My good woman" passionately holding her hand, said the man, "When I go to Heaven I expect to leave my breath behind."

*Moral* 
Drinkers are practical people. 
Kindly Respect them!!

Thursday, May 30

Legends of Football


Legendary Football misses!

Finest Irish Death Wish

An old Irish wish, When I die, will you pour the finest bottle of Irish whiskey on my grave? 

Friend's bladderful reply,....

Tuesday, May 28

Friday, May 24

Messy Sunder

Messy and Sunder (beautiful) people in one pic!

Quantum Physics and Spirituality

Quantum Physics and Spirituality ✨

7 things that affect your vibrational frequency from the point of view of physics.
Vibration in quantum physics means that everything is energy. Any feeling causes you to emit a vibration that can be positive or negative.

1st - *The Thoughts*.
Every thought you have emits a frequency to the Universe, and that frequency returns to the origin, in this case you! So if you have negative thoughts and sadness this will all come back to you. That is why it is so important that you take care of the quality of your thoughts and learn to cultivate more positive thoughts.

2nd - *The Companies*.
People around you have a direct influence on your frequency. If you stand beside cheerful people, you too will enter into this vibration, now if you surround yourself with complaining and pessimistic people, be careful! For they may be lowering their vibrational frequency.

3th - *The Songs*.
Songs are very powerful. Pay attention to the lyrics of the songs you listen to and remember: you attract into your life exactly what you vibrate.

4th - *Things You Watch*.
When you watch programs that address misfortune. Your brain accepts it as a reality and releases all the chemistry in your body, causing your vibrational frequency to be affected. Watch things that do you good.

5th - *The Environment*. Whether at home or at work, if you spend a lot of your time in a messy, dirty environment, it will also affect your frequency. Improve what is around you.
Show the Universe that you are fit to receive much more. Take care of what you already have!

6th - *The Speech*.
If you complain or speak badly about things and people, that also affects you. Eliminate the habit of complaining and speaking ill of others. Take Responsibility for the Choices of Your Life.

7th - *Gratitude*.
Gratitude positively affects your frequency, this is a habit you should incorporate right now into your life. Start to thank for everything. Gratitude opens the door for good things to flow positively into your life.

Thursday, May 23

Butt picture is Safe to see

Believe me the picture is correct and safe to view!

Tuesday, May 21

Friday, May 10

Awesome Bodyart

Johannes Stotter displays his art on Live models as his canvas of beautiful artistic strokes.

Wednesday, May 8

Oxymorons

Oxymorons
 
An oxymoron is a phrase comprised of two words that seem to contradict one another. They are more prevalent in writing than one would imagine. Just check out these examples of...
 
Oxymorons:
 
Extinct Life
Plastic glasses
Terribly pleased
Computer security
Political science
Tight slacks
Definite maybe
Pretty ugly
Rap music
Working vacation
Microsoft Works

Monday, May 6

Brilliant PR study material

Anybody wanting to get into the PR business must study this. As Brilliant as it is hilarious!! -

No matter which side of the AISLE you're on, THIS is FUNNY! 

Judy Wallman Trump, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California, was doing some personal work on her own family tree.  She discovered that President Donald Trump's great, great uncle, Remus Trump, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.  Both Judy and President Trump share this common ancestor.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows  in Montana territory.  On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription: "Remus Trump, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889."

So Judy recently e-mailed the President for information about their great, great uncle, Remus.

Believe it or not, President Trump's staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:

"Remus Trump was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad.  Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."

Now THAT is how it's done, Folks!

Saturday, May 4

Kids' Lamborghini

Such a joy to see children playfully jump over this car! ;-)

Monday, April 15

Hindi to English Translation

เคชेเคชเคฐ เคฎेँ เคชूเค›ा เค—เคฏा เค•ि

*เคธเคจ्เคคोเคท เค†เคฎ เค–ाเคคा เคนै*
เค‡เคธ เคตाเค•्เคฏ เค•ो เค…ंเค—्เคฐेเคœ़ी เคฎें เคฒिเค–ो 

เค…ंเค—्เคฐेเคœ़ी เค•ी เคญी เค†เคค्เคฎा เค•ाँเคช เค—เคˆ เคœเคฌ
เคœเคตाเคฌ เคฎें เค•िเคธी เคจे เคฒिเค–ा 

*satisfaction is a general account.*

๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜„

Colonialism is....

Colonialism is ..
..
Never having to say Sorry !(sic)

Friday, April 5

Sin or Deed

"Father, yesterday I beat up a politician.."

Saturday, March 30

Free Rental

๐ŸœAn ant knocked on the door of a house.

The house owner opened the door.

"I want a place to stay," said the ant.

"I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost," said the owner.

The ant went inside and occupied the vacant room.

After some days, the ant brought in another ant ๐Ÿœand requested the
owner, "Can you please allow this ant to stay with me?"

"Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent," said the owner.

After some days the ant brought a 3rd ๐Ÿœant and requested the owner
to allow it to stay with them.

The owner agreed to it without asking for any rent.

This went on as the ๐Ÿœant brought in more and more ants and the owner agreed to let them stay without any rent.

One fine day, the ant brought in the  *10th* ant ๐Ÿœand requested the owner
to allow it to stay with them all.

The owner said, 
"OK, you can all stay here but now you all need to pay rent."

*Now the question is:*

Why did the owner ask for rent when the 10th ant came in?
.

.

.

.
๐Ÿค”
.

.
๐Ÿค”
.

๐Ÿค”
.
.

..

.

.
.

๐Ÿค”
.

.
.
๐Ÿค”
.
.
.

.
.
.๐Ÿค”

Because they were now *tenants!*
๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ

PS: I am also looking for the guy who sent me this!

Friday, March 29

3D Charcoal Trick Art

Amazing charcoal art with three dimensional effects!

Tuesday, March 26

Chinese Medicine for Terrorism

Talking to Alexa

Americans : Alexa, where's my key?

English : Alexa, set alarm.

Indians : Alexa say, "Kaccha papad, Pakka Papad" 10 times.

Sunday, March 17

Pig Bites Girl on Beach

A groups of pigs chase this girl on beach. She shows her bum with pig bites.

Friday, March 15

Tuesday, March 12

60 seconds of Web

Look what happens in each 60 seconds on the Internet 

Monday, March 11

Propaganda Forwarders

Who are forwarders of propaganda materials on social media ?

Saturday, February 9

Deadly Combination

Good sense of humour,
Dirty mind,
and 
Beautiful Heart 
Make a Deadly Combination

Thursday, February 7

Valentine Motivations

The Valentine Week starts tomorrow !! 

So ...

HOW'S THE JOSH ??

Married Sir

 ๐Ÿค•๐Ÿค




Msg from Schools, Colleges & Institutes 

Dear Parents, 
We don't have any extra classes on 14th February. 

Regards
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

Stop.Done. (Motivational quote!)

Motivational Sunny Quote.
when to stop?

Wednesday, January 30

Experts of Climate Change

1500 flights burning fuel to Davos to lecture on Climate Change (sic)

Thursday, January 10

Story: Island of Retirement

Story time: One day a man decided to retire...

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and
proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my fishing boat sank." "Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this ole thing?" explains the woman. " I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from an Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the
woman. " On the south side of the island, a very
unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in a volcanic vent I found just down island, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says "and I'll give you a tour." So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small hand built wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an
expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, It's not much, but I call it home.

Please sit down." "Would you like a drink?"

"No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"Oh, it's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Jack Daniels neat?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."

No longer questioning anything, the man goes
upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but a bandana around her blonde locks and some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned. She smelled faintly of coconut oil. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering
closer to him, "We've both been out here for many
months. You must have been lonely. When was the last time you had a really good ride?"

She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing.

"You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,

"You've built a Motorcycle too ?"๐Ÿคฃ

Tuesday, January 8

Typical Conference Calls In Corporates

Typical Conf. Calls In Corporates:
Caller1: Hi, this is George from Sales.
*Silence* All waiting others to Join
Caller2: Hi, this is Malvin from Marketing.

Sunday, January 6

Dog's life quote

Quote by Ann Landers....

If you can start the day without caffeine,
 if you can get going without pep pills,
 if you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, 
if you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
 if you can conquer tension without medical help,
 if you can relax without liquor, 
if you can sleep without the aid of drugs, 
if you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, or politics . . . . . 
… 
.
.
.
.
Then you are almost as good as your dog.
๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿถ

Thursday, January 3

Faithful Humor

Here's a tongue in cheek article a friend sent me. I hope it doesn't offend anyone but I thought it was pretty humorous because it hits close on the main emphasis of that particular Faith. 
If you don't think so, it could be your knowledge of the different Faiths covered here is either too limited or too extensive!

Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.
Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Orthodox Judaism - Our toys are the only Kosher toys.
Greek Orthodox - They were our toys first.
Messianic Judaism - No, they were OURS first.
Russian Orthodox - Our toys are the only legally correct toys.
Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
Atheism - There is no toy maker.
Polytheism - There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism - The toys made themselves from less complicated models.
Paganism - Every tree is a toy.
Church of Scientology - Toys are us.
Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.
B'Hai - All toys are just fine with us.
TM - Your toys are your just desserts.
Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
Taoism - The doll is as important as the dump truck.
Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second.
Hedonism - To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!
Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
Presbyterian - My toys were custom made for me by the Toy Maker.
Evangelical Free - Would you like to play with some of my toys?
Full Gospel - Everyone who has a toy raise your hands and shout.
7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday loses.
Heaven's Gate - There is no toy like a comet. It's to die for.
Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.
Christian Church in America - Ours are not the only toys, but they are OUR TOYS ONLY!
Disciples of Christ - When we all get to toy land, what a day of play that will be.
Baptist - Once played, always played.
The Family - Toy, joy, toy, joy, toy. The best toy is a rainbow. (I take this as a compliment! It shows the emphasis the Family puts on using music to get out the Message, the Heavenly vision and eternal non-material values.)
Separatist Baptist - He that hath a sixteenth century toy hath righteousness.
Family of God - I got toys. You got toys? All God's children got toys.
Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.
Charismaticism - Talk! Big deal. Our toys laugh and fall down!
Dutch Reformed - Toys? You mean this is supposed to be fun?
Brethren - Whatever else you do, keep your toys out of sight.
Faith Movement - If you ask for a new toy and don't get it, it is your fault.
Methodist - Now which toy do we play with this week?
Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.
Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
Episcopalian - Once a toy is sprinkled with water it wins.
United Pentecostal - Not wet enough and only our toys have the right label.
Third Wave - Our toys dance and sing the coolest songs!
Toronto Blessing - Pull our toys strings and they bark and laugh uncontrollably.
Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's all just play with them.
Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.
Unitarianism - Oh the joy of any toy, or not.
New Age - Angels are the most fashionable toys and crystal is really cool.
Abraham Forum Messianic- Your toys are syncretistic pagan idols, soaked in anti-semetic evil. My toys are rich in righteous tradition and entirely acceptable to the Toy Maker.
Abraham Forum Christian - Your toys are but ancient shadows of reality. My toys are straight from the Toymaker's workbench.
GOD - "Grow up children! Just take my son Jesus, stop playing and get to work!"